The Single Mom Diaries

And the saga continues…. Just when you think the petty shit is over the other party does something to prove you wrong. As most of you know (and for those who don’t) my son’s dad has been in jail for about four months now. Before that we hadn’t been speaking and he only seen his son twice besides at the hospital when he was born. Now you’d think someone that is in jail and has a child would be sending letters asking about their child instead of talking about what you should have been doing and who they are dating now. Instead of worrying about a female being there for you what you need to be doing is worrying about getting your life together for BOTH of your sons.

After reading a five page letter full of bullshit and contradictions it made me realize I’m making the right choice to get full physical and legal custody of my son. I will never trust having my child around a person who is only concerned about a female being there for him through the pain & disrespect, has anger issues, never sober and doesn’t have a stable place to live. I also don’t trust my child to be around a family (his dad’s) that never checks on him but instead tries to make it seem like I’m the villian. There will be no more of me going out of my way to send pictures, invite them to visit (they never show) and updating them on his development. People that really cared would go about asking on their own.

Sometimes I feel like my son’s father thinks he is still speaking to the 19 year old me. The girl that was a little lost and not fully mature. Things have changed and they changed drastically when I realized I was having a baby. The fact that his dad told me “I have a lot of growing up to do” and “hopes my son makes me a better woman,” made me see that he is still living in the past and he is the one that needs to grow up. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I’ve been taking care of the seed growing inside me and I’ve been taking care of him since he entered the world as well. I feed him, bathe him, change his diapers, read to him and put him to sleep. I take him to all of his doctor’s appointments. I don’t leave him every weekend to go to the clubs because he is my responsibility and I’d rather be the one staying in with him. My son will be 1 in a few months and a person that’s literally done nothing for him is telling me I need to grow up. The nerve.

I will not be entertaining anymore of those letters or him pretending he has been fighting to be a family. We haven’t been together for over a year. A few months after having my son he broke up with me and we never got back together. I did all the fighting and I lost every battle. It took me constantly being hurt to realize this wasn’t what he truly wanted and now I’m okay with that..

I’m going to continue on this journey of being the best mother I can be whether I’m single or not. My son is my number one focus and always will be.

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