For a few days I’ve been feeling so lost in myself; Not knowing how to feel or what to say. I had a feeling of loneliness and sadness coming over me and a big part of me just wanted to break down and cry. Still I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why all of a sudden this feeling decided to pick that exact moment to come over me. Then I was driving home from work & a song came on, Heartbroken by Aaliyah. Before she was even two lines into the song I caught myself wiping tears from my face and trying to control my sobs. That’s when it hit me, I have a broken heart and it still hurts. I gained a new love (my son) but lost another (his dad) in the process. Instead of dealing with the heartbreak of losing the one person I truly loved I filled myself with anger and hate because how could he give up on the family we talked so much about having. Then I let that turn into me acting like he didn’t matter or exist to me. Still everything he does makes me anger and yet I can’t get over the love I feel. I can’t seem to move on. Maybe it’s because I’m still holding on to what could be. For days I’ve been trying to figure out what I’ve been missing and why I’ve been feeling so hurt. Finally I’m admitting to myself that my heart is still broke and it’s my fault for not giving it the time to heal.
– Single Mom