Diary of She: Turning Off the Stress

So for about 8 months my check engine light has been on. It happened literally two days after paying almost $400 to get my brakes fixed. Of course being the person I am I stressed about it and thought my car was guaranteed to breakdown now but my dad reassured me that it would be okay and he’d take care of it. Well it took almost 6 months but I finally got my car into the shop and fixed. The stress was lifted from my shoulders until my dad hit me with the I’ll give you this much on your car when initially he told me he was paying for the whole thing. Immediately I felt myself starting to stress. I haven’t had a full paycheck in a month and all I could think about was the numerous expenses I had coming up, the money I barely have in my account, the days I just had to take off for being sick and now this $300 that I have to spend to get my car. I finally got myself together by saying, ” Hey at least you have some money to get this taken care of and out-of-the-way.”

Now here I am at this very moment relaxing myself because I was getting irritated about not having a way to get my car. My sister was going to pick it up today and of course it’s not her fault she couldn’t get it, her ride faked on her. BUT still it annoyed me because I knew there was no one else I could call on and Of course I’m too far away to get it myself. So now was I going to have to wait all the way till Saturday to get my vehicle? Would I get charged extra for a holding fee? All this was going through my mind. Then my sister texts me to say my dad will go get it tomorrow. Am I counting on it? not really but I can’t stress on it. All I can do is let it be what it is. I may not get my car today or even tomorrow but I will be getting it eventually (tomorrow I hope lol).

I’m really working on not letting the little things I have no control over get to me. I’m also working on not stressing over the things I know will come into place. Getting back in to the groove of writing down how I feel and what’s going on in life has become a major factor in eliminating the stress and anxiety I feel at times. It’s not easy but so far this year I’m learning that I can manage my emotions, whether it’s by writing, reading or listening to music. It can be controlled and I have to learn to just let that shit go. Only I can control how I feel and how situations in my life will turn out.

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