Su & Tray are back again speaking some real shit. Going into this podcast, “The First Date,” I was expecting that to be the starting conversation but child let me tell you, they brought up having a degree and finding work. That’s what really caught my attention. When it comes to looking for work your degree does not guarantee you’ll get the job you want. I went to school for journalism and child development and have yet to find a job in those fields.
When I finished college I was pregnant and working at Nike. Once I went on leave I told myself I could not go back to retail and I didn’t. My plan was to go back to work in 6 months and I felt like it wasn’t going to happen for me because I couldn’t find a job. Well, the Lord blessed me because a recruiter found my resume (a super old one) and I ended up with a job with 2 weeks of that call. I’ve been at this job for almost 2 years now and I started out making more than I’ve ever made working retail. I am getting to a point where I want to move on to a new company and one closer to home and I’m finding it to be extremely difficult. Working in the entertainment/movie field gave me an idea of what I wanted to do and I ended up getting an interview ( actually 4 interviews) with Netflix only to be told I did not get the position. It definitely discouraged me. I also find myself looking at positions telling myself nope don’t want to do this, don’t want to do that. I’ve turned down interviews and positions because I felt I could have found better but little do I know I could have grown in those positions. I believe a lot of people can relate to the struggles of finding work and having a degree, so thank you Su & Tray for sharing your stories.
Okay now onto dating… I’m happy to know I’m not the only person who hates dating. The whole process of getting to know a person and then deciding where you want to go/do is just too much for me. I’d rather chill by myself. I’ll go out with my guy friends but I’ve never considered it a date. Its like okay cool I know you and I know we can vibe without having any awkward moments.
There’s certain things that were mentioned that will immediately turn you off from actually going on a first date:
- The cockiness
- The clingy-ness
- The 21 questions
First off just because I gave you my number, which is something I rarely do, it doesn’t mean I’m automatically obligated to you. I don’t have to put you into my plans that you didn’t even make but instead assumed were already set in stone because you got the digits. If you want to see me don’t ask me 101 questions about how was my day, what am I doing and once I tell you and you go on to say, “What you doing after that?” These are the same guys that will catch an attitude with you for not saying,”seeing you.” If you want to see me act like an adult and make plans with me.
I don’t go out of my way to make plans with guys because I find a lot of times they fake on you. I don’t need to be dating a man who expects me to remind him of the plans we made. If it was important he’d remember so I take that as disrespect. Another thing that will turn me off from that date is a guy leaving me to the last-minute. What makes you think I want to go out with you at booty call hours? The only thing open at that hour are legs and you will not be getting between mine. I will definitely let you know I’m going to bed and I’ll see you another time (maybe not though).
I’ve also gone through the stage of giving someone my number and they became super clingy. At the time I was going through my stage of wanting to see what it would be like dating a white guy. Let me tell you something, I was a bit terrified. He went from texting me all day to constantly FaceTiming me back to back. If I didn’t answer the FaceTime he’d send a text. Now we were only a week into getting to know each other and we hadn’t even been on a date yet. I finally agreed to a date with this guy. We went to lunch and then a movie. He was nice and all but I just knew something with dude was off. Before I left him he insisted on taking some pictures together. Lord he went on to post this pic on his social the next day calling me his Queen and talking about how he’s finally met someone who makes him happy :/. The quadruple FaceTimes and text did not stop, he told me he was in love with me and was even trying to get my son clothes. Can we say fatal attraction? I was so turned off by it all. Then his ex seen the picture of us and wanted him back. I told him please go for it because I wanted no parts. That guy was why I didn’t want to start going on dates in the first place. Who wants to deal with someone that damn clingy and annoying. Mind you we only knew each other for 2 weeks. After getting back with his ex I posted an MCM on IG and I got the, “you already moved on,” text and then was blocked lol.
Maybe the dating scene isn’t for me or I’ve had so many bad experiences I don’t want to go on dates with anyone new. I’m fine with sticking to going on friend dates or being with myself for now.