Stage 30: NO Means NO!

I’m a day late but Stage 30 is back with a new podcast, NO MEANS NO! I love that SU & Tray decided to touch on the subject of men who become angry and aggressive when a woman turns down their advances.

A woman can kindly let a man know she is not interested and it will result in men calling you bitches, hoes, telling you that you’re stuck up and sometimes they even result to threatening harm upon you. We read and see news stories that highlight issues like this; women being killed or badly assaulted because they didn’t want to give out their number or dance with you at the club.

Those kind of situations are the exact reason I try to be as nice as I can when men ask for my number or want to dance with me at a club. But these days a polite no and smile aren’t enough. In the back of your head you have to think about is he really a nice guy or is he going to become disrespectful. Men may not realize it but it’s a scary situation for a woman to be in.

I remember being at a party in college with my friends and this guy kept trying to dance with her. She told him no and it turned into a verbal exchange between the two. Just watching his mannerism I could see he was getting ready to hit her so instead of me reacting to him I grabbed my closest guy friend to defuse the situation. Some guys would say something like well she should have been nicer or just danced with him. NO he should have taken NO as an answer and kept it moving.

They touched on men following behind you trying to get you to speak to them as well.

Maybe two months ago me and my son were at the bank. He’s only two so of course I couldn’t leave him in the car. As soon as I step to the ATM machine this guy, who clearly was just lurking around the bank says hi. I wasn’t trying to come off as rude so I said hello. As I get back to the car I see the same guy walking my way super fast looking super aggressive. Nothing about him told me he was a nice guy. I never strapped my child in so fast. I closed the door and at this point the guy is already at my car door asking me if I had a boyfriend. I said yes when I clearly don’t, thinking he would just go his own way. He proceeds to go can we exchange numbers. I say no, get in my car and lock the door. Before he walks away this nigga hits my window hella hard. Real life scared the shit out of me. I’ve been approached a lot but being approached while you have your child with you is terrifying.

We shouldn’t have to explain ourselves or be made out to be bitches because we want to go about our day without being bothered. If we wanted to talk, give out our numbers or whatever the case is we will do that on our own without feeling pressured and belittled. Men please learn what NO MEANS.

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