Relationships, any kind of relationship (friendships, lovers, friends with benefits, boyfriend/girlfriends) can become addictive. That person or the feeling you get when you are with that person is addictive; they become our drug and we are left feening for more.

Just like a drug the high we get is only temporary but we continue to go back because in that moment we feel like anything is possible; all the worries in the world are gone and you believe you can do anything. There’s this sense of power that you have when you get this feeling and you start to believe they are the reason for it. But when that high went away you suddenly felt like shit and you realized they didn’t only make you feel good but they also made you feel like you were nothing. That’s when you tell yourself it’s time to give that drug up and cleanse your mind and body.

Just like an addict that’s been sober it seems like at one point or another something is triggered within them and they start to have withdrawal. Some can fight the feeling but others relapse. It may be for a few minutes, hours, days or even weeks but at some point they remember why they quit in the first place.

Well I relapsed and he was my drug, while his sex was. We didn’t get to that point but just the thought of experiencing the way he made my body feel led to me reaching out after months of not talking to him. For the longest I hadn’t even thought about him but then I got to writing. Writing led to reminiscing. Reminiscing led to the missing and missing led to messages sending.

It was cool catching up and I started to remember why I liked him in the first place but within the first 48 I realized why I let that drug go in the first place. He came with drama and he didn’t know how to speak to a woman with respect. He literally talked his way out of some pussy. I never knew it could be possible until I started to speak to him again. Guys just know how to ruin a vibe like no other. Within the first 24hrs I was getting stalked by a trick I have so much dirt on and the receipts to prove it. Then everything that came out of his mouth in those 48hrs made me wish I would have kept how I was feeling inside.

God knew that was going to be a disaster.

Before you relapse just think about why it didn’t work in the first place.

Posted by:Sydney Reneé

Sydney Reneé, was and is woman searching for herself. For an outlet she turned to writing. The Diary of She became a public journal of her personal experiences, opinions and poetry. Through her journey she came to realize she wasn't only helping herself but other women who had been in her situation and may be currently dealing with the same struggles. Sydney Reneé continues to be an inspiration to all the women going through it, reminding them that it's never too late to go after your dreams and speak your truth.

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