Polyamorous –

The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time

Polyamory n :

is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. 

Before getting into this I thought it was important to share a few definitions explaining polygamy but I believe it is also important to share the difference between being in a open relationship. When looking at the two they are similar when it comes to multiple parties being involved. With open relationships it is agreed that it is okay to take on new partners outside of the relationship but you do not have to speak to, see, or be committed to that other relationship in anyway. It’s basically living two separate lives but in this case you are in the know. As with a polyamorous relationship those involved are all committed, in most cases a man and two women.

Now you’re problem wondering how this topic came about but it’s something that’s been brought up in conversations more than a few times. One of those times was in college. Me & a few girlfriends thought the idea of having two boyfriends was everything. What you didn’t have in one you’d be able to get in the other and it would eliminate eventually stepping out of your relationship to go find what was missing in someone else. The only way this would work though is letting the two know about each other and them being okay with having an open relationship.

In more recent times I’m starting to see that guys are feeling like they aren’t meant to be a one woman man and believe they can love more than one person at a time, which I’m starting to believe is true when it comes to loving multiple people. You get something a little different out of everyone that comes into your life. There’s a chemistry there that you don’t want to let go but on the other hand it’s also there with another person. In my eyes I feel like most guys would be happier in a relationship if they could be with the two women they desire most and see being in their lives forever.

I’ve been in a situation where I was invested in one guy and found myself somewhat building a relationship/friendship with a girl that he was involved with as well. Now in my case I was becoming a bit annoyed with hearing about her all the time. Every now and then was okay but at some point it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I’m not too sure but I don’t believe he was too excited about us speaking separately either so eventually I just stopped speaking to her all together. Till this day I still think she’s a great woman and we actually had a lot in common. So it got me to thinking could I be involved with a man and another woman together as one, going on dates and hanging out together all the time. You see it on tv and you see these celebrities living a life of polygamy and it gets you wondering and wanting to experience it at least once to see if it’s for you. Me being the territorial person I am I don’t think it would go over well but you never know.

But how do you go about it? I feel like it’s something that doesn’t happen purposely, it just happens. What rules go into being in a Polyamorous Relationship? Being in a one-on-one relationship is hard enough so what happens when you add another person? Will one of the other women want to be involved with another man making the relationship open? Soooo much to think about right.

Here are some things to consider: Dos & Don’ts

• Don’t coerce your relationships into a predefined shape; let them be what they are
• Don’t keep score
• Do understand that your needs have nothing directly to do with your partner’s other partner
• Do ask for what you need
• Don’t let problems sit
• Don’t assume that polyamory will solve problems in your relationship
• Do pay attention to the state of a prospective partner’s existing relationships
• Don’t take sides
• Do pay attention to the way you relate to your partner’s partners
• Don’t make assumptions about your relationship with your partner’s other partners
• Do take responsibility for your actions
• Don’t look to your relationships to offer you validation
• Do know your limits, your needs, and the things that bring you happiness

And these are just a few things to think about when thinking about being in a relationship like this. There’s a ton more that I’ll let you research but the most important is to be open & honest, have trust and try to have some kind of rules set.

Would you enter a polyamorous relationship?