Okay I’m going to try this again since my last post got deleted… how annoying.
About a month ago, maybe less, I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do and the idea of downloading a dating app came to mind. Honestly I wasn’t looking to meet anyone but more so curious when it came to how they worked and who would view my profile. If I did find myself interested in someone what was the worst that could happen? Ok maybe they could be some creepy psycho stalker guy. They do exist. I know you’ve watched Lifetime & the ID channel. Usually it’s some crazy man on a dating app luring in is victims. I’m not trying to be one of those. Plus when I told one of my best friends I downloaded the apps she told me about a coworker who meet a guy and he drugged her so she wouldn’t be able to leave his place. I was surprised to find out she was still using the apps.
But then again not all people are out there trying to prey on single women. Some men are genuinely looking to make a connection with another person. Maybe they aren’t able to get out the house much and found a dating app was the next best thing when it came to meeting someone. Maybe they were out meeting people the old fashion way and having horrible luck. Either way there are people finding true love on apps and even getting married. It’s no different from meeting up with someone from Instagram or Facebook if you think about it.
So the two dating applications I downloaded were Tinder and OK Cupid. Tinder did not make it through the day especially after hearing it was basically a hookup app. I had one person tell me they meet someone who they are actively dating and immediately deleted the app after meeting them. Another person told me they used the app to have sex with a few people. Then there was that one person who asked if I was looking to use men as my boy toys. I definitely didn’t want anyone who seen me on that app thinking I was on there looking for a “good time.” The few hours I did use Tinder it was immediately all laughs for me. I didn’t see anyone I was remotely interested in at all. I just laughed and laughed as I swiped left and watched the big NOPE appear across their faces. I did swipe right on someone, which was a total accident. What made it even worst was this person swiped right on me as well making us a match. I felt so bad because he messaged me and I didn’t open it because he was definitely supposed to be a no. After that I deleted the app and decide to take a friend’s advice and I downloaded a different app.
That’s where OK Cupid came into play. When I started to set up my profile I loved how professionally set up it was. The application is completely free but you have the option to upgrade to the A-List, which of course opens up more options for you but I decided to stick to the free version since I knew I wasn’t going to stay on it long. Once you set up your profile you are asked a series of questions to help narrow your search when it comes to finding your match. When viewing others profiles you are able to see how the answers to your questions match up. I had quite a lot of people who had a lot in common with me and some people message me that had nothing in common with me at all. Each persons profile told a story allowing me to get to know who they where before actually speaking to them. I won’t lie, I seen a few guys that I was interest in. Most of my messages came from Caucasian and Asian men. Within a few housrs I already had 100 likes and as the days went by the numbers kept going up. I exchanged numbers with two people before getting rid of the app. The first guy, who I still text from time to time had a lot in common with me when it came to writing and being a parent. We talked quite a bit on the app before we decided to exchange numbers. The fact that we could hold a conversation kept me interested. I haven’t got myself invested in speaking to him too much because I don’t know if I’m truly ready to date anyone but I’m keeping my options open. Now the second could have just took his ass to Tinder because all he was looking for was someone to watch movies and have sex with. He couldn’t hold a conversation at all and just assumed because he was handsome he could get what he wanted. I also did my research and seen that he had a girlfriend. I stopped texting him the first day I started and completely ignored his messages the next day.
My reasoning for deleting the apps didn’t have much to do with the people on them but I came to realize I’m not ready to date anyone. I damn near don’t even want to look at men. For the first time in a long time I’m content with being single. It’s given me the chance to focus on me and my family. I’ve started on this journey of self discovery and I’m not trying to take any detours along the way. The ‘Instagram relationships’ used to make me want love so bad until I realized a lot of those couples I was seeing only seemed to look happy. In reality those same people I admired were cheating on and betraying one another. In the pictures they were perfect but in reality they were miserable. I stopped letting facades make me feel like I needed to be with someone or needed to be out dating so I could find mr right. There’s no way I’m going to force myself into anything I’m not ready for and dating is one of those things.
Eventually…… It will happen when the time is right.