Have you ever found yourself walking down the hall and you almost bump into a coworker or notice someone you’ve never paid attention to before? Or have you ran into someone in the break room and you start feeling butterflies? Suddenly you look up and see this beautiful person in front of you. From that moment you find yourself attracted and wanting to learn more about who they are as a person but there’s that part of you that’s saying don’t mix your professional and personal life. Yet you find yourself flirting every now and then or find yourself looking a little too long and immediately having to look away when you see them coming your way. There are days you don’t know if you should speak or stay hidden away in your corner of the office. It’s actually kind of torturous.
Anyways this is currently happening to me. I’ve found myself attracted to someone who works in the same building as me. I’ve noticed him for months ever since I almost walked right into him. Besides the fact that he is handsome and funny (I got some courage to speak to him), every time I look his way something in me goes, “I want to learn all about that man.” Now, I’m telling myself I have no intentions of crossing any boundaries but wouldn’t I be if I acted on thoughts of wanting to get to know him outside of the office? Not anything sexual but just wanting to catch a show, go for a walk and build a friendship outside of work. Who knows he may not even want to get to know me in that way so why say anything at all right? Or what happens if a friendship turns into something romantic. Then you have to worry about mixing love and work; the consequences that could possibly come with it.
This conflict I’ve been having with myself got me thinking about workplace romance and that’s where this piece comes into place…
Relationships in the workplace can be complicated and trust me those working in Human Resources may not be too excited about it but believe it or not at some point even those in HR have found themselves romantically involved with someone they’ve worked with . Sure it’s no problem if the relationship is serious and you two remain to keep it professional inside the office. BUT those random hook-ups and horrible breakups could cause major issues not only for you but for those in the office as well. According to a 2015 survey by Vault that used over 2,000 participates, 51% of respondents had an office romance at some point in their careers, “23% admitted to being involved in one within the past year, while 20% of respondents were in a relationship with a colleague when they participated in the survey.” Surprisingly 31% of workplace relationship turn into marriage according to an online survey given by Career Builder in the U.S.
Here are a few tips from the Career Builder survey when it comes to dating someone in the office:
Check the Company Handbook – Some companies have strict policies around office romances. Acquaint yourself with the rules before turning a professional relationship into a personal one.
· Proceed with Caution – Some romances lead into marriage, but others can lead into disaster. Seven percent of workers who have dated a co-worker reported having to leave their jobs because their office romance soured. Take the time to get to know someone first and carefully weigh risks and benefits.
· Compartmentalize – Keep your work life separate from your home life. Avoid showing PDA in the office and don’t involve co-workers in personal disagreements.
· Think Before You Post – Be careful what you post on social media. You can end up outing your relationship before you’re ready to discuss it.
I’ve never actually had a workplace romance myself, though I’ve come close when working in retail but it did not happen because I was in a relationship. Now unlike me (that time smh) not everyone has the urge to fight temptations. When you spend a lot of time with colleagues in and out of work you begin to build a bond and sometimes feelings begin to form beyond the friend-zone. I can recall this guy always being super flirtatious but what I liked about him the most is that he made me laugh/smile more than I was when at home with the person I was involved with. Our bond was something that was noticed by a lot of people. Our friendship lead to us hanging out together outside of work and that’s when I told myself this might be getting too deep. Hugs were getting longer and it was starting to feel like I was sneaking around. I think it’s safe to say when you start feeling guilty about spending time with a colleague of the opposite sex you’re on the path of having an affair. I was relieved when he stopped coming into work and later I found out he moved back to his hometown. With that said here is the results of the respondents who took the Vault survey when it came to infidelity,
47% of respondents this year (2015) claimed to be aware of infidelity on the part of a colleague who is married or in a long-term relationship, just 19% owned up to having had an affair themselves… 23 percent of those who had had affairs admitted that it had ended either their own or their colleague’s marriage/long-term relationship, while just 14 percent reported career setbacks related to the affair.
In your opinion is mixing love with work a good idea? Could you be missing out on a true love connection because you may be afraid of the outcome? Have you ever been involved with someone you’ve worked with??
LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!