Sex Based Relationships…

“A relationship built solely on sex is hardly a relationship at all…”

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I’m not an expert when it comes to getting and keeping a relationship, as my ass has been single for what seems like forever, but I have had a share of my own relationships, some of which were based solely on sex. Can I even call this a relationship at all? Do these kind of relationships last once you remove the sex? I’m stuck between yes and no but I’m definitely leaning towards, “FUCK NO that shit doesn’t work out.”

I can remember getting into two different relationships (different times of course) and thinking back I can’t think of anything I had in common with either of these guys besides the fact that we enjoyed fucking each other, oh and they made me laugh. Gotta be able to make me laugh or we won’t be getting anywhere what so ever and YES, I said fucking. You can’t make love when you haven’t learned enough about each other outside of the bedroom to actually fall in love. Seriously,  these relationships were, “hey how are you, lets eat (some days), okay now let’s get it on wherever we can” kind of thing going on. I was still pretty young at the time so during those time periods it didn’t hit me that I was in a sexship, as my friend called it. I figured because we had made it clear we were together and that we couldn’t stay away from each other that we were in a real relationship. It took me getting into a serious ass, “we living” together relationship to realize it’s so much more to being with someone.

Sure being with those guys were fun. We even remained good friends but once the sex stopped the whole relationship pretty much came to an end immediately. The most I took away from those relationships were some new tricks, which isn’t a bad thing, but getting older I’ve come to realize it takes more than sex to keep a relationship going. First it takes building a friendship. We, and I’m apart of that we, are so quick to jump into a relationship based on what we see (the way he/she dresses, physically looks and talks) instead of taking the time out to get to know the person inside and out. It’s easy to choose a person based on looks but you’ll know if the person is actually the one for you by getting to know them on a friend level first. Stop focusing on the external and get to know them inside and out. Find out what he/she likes and dislikes. What is it you two have in common with one another? How honest can you two be with one another. I hear that friends end up making the best husbands and wives. During the friend/talking stage you may learn that this is someone you really don’t want to be involved with romantically. If you get past the talking stage please go on a dates. I don’t care if it’s to the bookstore, a park, a hike or whatever the fuck else you guys like to do. Explore the world, don’t sit at each others houses Netflix and chilling all day and night. We all know that leads to sex and then there you go thinking you’re in a relationship but instead all y’all have in common are some movies and maybe a few positions.

When in a relationship the main thing to keep it going is knowing how to communicate with one another. Sex is great but what do you really have to talk about. Sitting there in silence with someone you are supposed to be with is equivalent to being single. I was never big on communication, which is why a lot of my relationships didn’t last as long as they should have. When I felt away about things I just ignore them until the issue got so out of hand that we’d end up parting ways. There were times we’d argue and then use sex to try to fix what was happening. After it all the problem still existed and we still couldn’t stand the sight of one another. Being in a relationship is being able to get through the hard and good times together. Not about how many times a day we spend getting it in.

Just my opinion? DO you think a relationship can survive on sex?

 

2 thoughts on “Sex Based Relationships…

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