Forcing Connections..? Don’t

Thinking he’s the one won’t make him the one…”

blackmillenials

Ladies ladies ladies… I know that sometimes we are so desperate to meet “the one” that we mind fuck ourselves into thinking any guy that comes into our lives with a few nice gestures is the one. First off ladies, most men are doing one of the two:

  1. Being gentleman enough to the point he gets you to say yes to giving him your number so he can take you out
  2. Being gentleman enough to get you out in order to eventually get you into bed.

The first motive is usually a good one. He wants to take you out, meaning he wants to get to know you more. It doesn’t have to be right away of course but eventually that is the goal. He’ll spend time getting to know you, hopefully via voice calls and not text. I find that you get to really know a person by talking on the phone. Text tends to get misread and assumptions are made. Now once he feels like you’re comfortable enough the two of you may finally plan that date night. Onto the second motive: he’s only being gentleman like because he wants to have sex with you. It’s the sad truth. Guys will only be nice enough to get you in bed and then they let their true colors fly. Now this can happen in a short amount of time or he’s the guy that doesn’t mind the long ride. Once you do give it up you’re stuck wondering why he’s no longer the guy you first met.

Here I go again going onto a whole new subject. Just like a woman to get sidetracked with the million other thoughts going on in my head. So back to it; thinking he’s the one isn’t going to make him the one. To be honest it’s really not up to us to decide if he’s the one. Sure there are signs that can let us know if he may or may not be the one but as women we have to remember that if he doesn’t feel the same way about you it’s not on you to say, “but you’re the one for me.” Sorry sweetie but it doesn’t work that way, it takes two.

I’ve been one of those girl’s who thought they’ve found the one more than a few times. Usually this thought would come after dealing with guys that played games and had disrespectful ways. Someone much nicer would come along making me smile, being consistent, expressing themselves emotionally and reminding me that you can get close to another person without the drama falling behind. My first thought would be fate; this person had to come along for a reason. Ladies please don’t mind fucking yourself like this by doing way too much over thinking. It takes more than a few weeks and even months to truly know I person and even then you still have a lot of digging to do with one another.

They say when you’ve met the one you’ll just know it and it leaves you a bit confused but I guess in away it makes sense. You won’t sit there over thinking or doubting whether or not if that person is one for you. Yet, we still want to know some of the signs. Here are a few things that may help lean towards a yes he’s the one for you:

  1. The relationship isn’t forced
  2. Both of you have clear and open communication
  3. You get along with his family/friend as he does yours
  4. The relationship isn’t surrounded by drama and insecurities
  5. Both of you are helping each other grow for the better

But most importantly knowing he is the one is about how he feels about you as a woman.

  1. You are a priority to him; no matter how busy he may get he makes time for you
  2. He considers your feelings; thinking before he speaks or does anything crazy.
  3. He checks in with you, not because he is insecure but because he cares about your wellbeing and wants to make sure you are safe as well as letting you know he is too.
  4. He remembers the little details
  5. If he is thinking about you, he’ll let it be known.
  6. He’ll want you around doing the good and bad moments in his life.

When the time is right ladies, you won’t spend so much time over thinking it. Sometime we just have to let things be. No matter how much we want certain relationships to work they just don’t and forcing it is only going to leave you hurting more at the end of it all.

 

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