It’s been 8 months since I’ve seen my best-friend and about 4 years since we’ve had a real honest conversation, well besides the conversation we had 8 months ago, which I feel like he was forced to have. Not because I forced him but because how awkward is it to be in the same room with somebody that you were once so close to and not say anything at all? Extremely! I admit, I was going to be the one that continued to avoid him but he seen me and stopped me. I thought that moment was going to be the rekindling of the friendship we once had but just when I got my hopes up I was let down once again.
How? Easy! He made it seem like we were still family and that he would call and check up on me more; Promising that we would see each other again because we let so much time pass. In the back of my head I knew that it was all talk but still I held onto the hope that I’d get my best friend back. It’s crazy because the one person I concerned to be the Godfather to my child has yet to even meet him and I’m sure he never will. He has his own child now and how crazy to me it is that he couldn’t even take just a second to say thank you when I congratulated him and told him how great of a father he was going to be.
At one point I had came to terms with us never speaking again. I even told my mother that friendship was over when she would bring him up in conversation. Her response was always but that’s your best-friend. Reality of it all is he might have been mine but I stopped being his a long time ago. I know that things happen in life that cause us all to go our separate ways. Daily conversations may turn into hearing from each other every other month but you know the friendship is still there. That’s what I thought this was going to be but again I was wrong. I’m still trying to figure out when things changed and why he couldn’t just be man enough to say, “Okay this is what happened and this is why we aren’t speaking anymore,” but I’m learning that not everyone owes me an explanation for why they do what they do. It’s appreciated but definitely not owed. I have my reasons for why I think everything took a turn for the worst but I won’t get into all that.
But you know what makes the situation worse for me on some days? It’s the fact that I see his face pop up on my TL a lot and that I notice the woman in his life looks at my stories everyday. How is it she can look at my stories yet, he can’t even look at a simple message that says congrats or keep up the good work. I’m sure I’ll go back to accepting that my best friend is no longer my best-friend but I also can’t help but to miss him sometimes. That’s Life!