Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.
– Daphne Rose Kingma
Have you ever been so upset that sometimes the only way to get over it is to destroy what once was, like lighting flame to a picture? Hoping that bringing that moment to ashes will also wipe every memory like you were in a scene of MIB (Men in Black) but nothing happens. I’ve been there! I can remember being only 16-years-old when I had my first break-up. I swore that I’d be healed once I erased every picture of us off of MySpace and ripped up the remaining but I was wrong. Actually, till this day I regret getting rid of those pictures because those were memories and good ones. Taking out my anger on those pictures weren’t going to help me let go.
Closure is something I’m always looking for whether it comes to friendships, relationships or my career, I always want to know why; Why is this friendship over? Why can’t I get a promotion or Why did they get rid of this position? The list goes on. I tend to look towards the negatives and not the positive outcomes that may come from it. I want to practice letting go of the hurt, letting go of the resentment, letting go of all the doubts I have and more. But where do I start? Where do you start?
Here are Steps To Help You (and me) To Stop Dwelling:
1. ACCEPTANCE – The moment you accept that things are over the easier is to let go. Yes you may still be upset that things didn’t go your way but that’s life and it is constantly changing. Work through those emotions and then let it go.
2. TALK ABOUT – Whether it be to a friend, in a letter, or self-talk; get out what you are feeling. Bottling up feelings is a sure way to explode in the end.
3. FOCUS ON SOMETHING NEW – Pick an area in your life you want to improve on (career, yourself, love etc) and then write out a plan. Spend time focusing on ways you can improve and then put those plans into action. Focusing on one thing can make you forget about another.
4. PRACTICE ZEN – Meditate and Practice Compassion. I wasn’t one for it at first but I found it helped me relax and feel at peace. It might not be something you are into but I say give it a try.
Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
– Oprah Winfrey