Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Recently I’ve been getting told by men I know that it seems like I can’t stand the male species and they just may be right. All these men that want to entertain me are already entertaining a million other women or even worse, are already in full-blown relationships. Falling into a trap and dealing with manipulation will make you want to stay far away from men. They play way too many games for me to keep up with so I’ve gotten to the point of telling them to stay the hell back.

They always ask, what do you mean by games, knowing exactly what I mean but here are a few examples if you really need them:

1. The guy who you are just fucking, no strings attached but he feels the need to lie to you about everything he does. We’ve already made it clear we aren’t together and we aren’t planning to be together so when you make up a full-blown lie for nothing, I know you have a million games up your sleeve.
2. The guy with a girlfriend who is constantly in your messages reminding you of what the two of you used to have and could still have BUT while he remains with his girlfriend. It’s like DUDE WHY? GO AWAY. I won’t be your dessert after you’ve had your meal.
3. The Dude with the main chick, that he claims he doesn’t fuck with but when you hop on social media you see the two of them on baecations, at basketball games and you see her popping up at every lounge/bar he is at. Yet, when he’s trying to fuck on you she’s nobody. Yeah, right my nigga, that girl is every place you are and if you can’t answer your phone when she’s around then that’s your woman PERIOD!

Truth is, I used to fall for all that shit because I was a fan of words, thinking that maybe just maybe their actions would show me something different. And sometimes they did but my intuition would kick in and that’s just something you cannot ignore because most times that gut feeling is happening for a reason.

I’m going to tell you about the time I was talking to this one guy, we’ll call him Vince. I shouldn’t have been dealing with him in the first place due to the person he was associated with but like most guys who like to claim that someone isn’t their friend when they are trying to talk to you, I went along with it. He was so charming and he knew how to make me smile. For about a week or so I avoided spending anytime with him until finally I went to visit him one night, which was like 40 minutes away from where I lived. We went to this little bar downtown in his city, he bought me drinks and I met some of his friends. After we went back to his friend’s house and they let me stay the night until I sobered up. We became inseparable after that.

BUT within the 4th month of spending almost every weekend with him I started to catch on to a lot of things. He wasn’t into me like he said he was, it was a game to him. He was into what I would do for him because he knew I was into him and DEEP. It started with him needing a few extra dollars because he “lost” his job. See that I put lost in quotes. He really quit and thought I was going to be someone who financed his life. I was okay helping here and there because I know what it’s like to not have a job and need the help.

What changed my mind was I noticed he was asking me more and more and every time I said no it turned into a disagreement. Then he always wanted to take my car and I was like what the fuck. Being inseparable turned into him wanting me to do all this extra stuff for him and him calling my phone at all hours of the night because he needed a ride. Mind you this guy also has kids, yes more than one, and the mother of his children would put certain things on his page that had me thinking, he’s still messing with her but I ignored it and even ignored what my friend was telling me. Of course he swore on everything he wasn’t. The games right?

Well, one night I finally had enough after he called me at 1 in the morning asking me to come pick him up or to give him gas money to come see me. Like seriously? give you money to come visit me at a hour I’m going to be sleep? I don’t think so. I finally said, fuck that, who the hell does he think he is? who the hell does he think I am? It was in that moment that I told him I was done and he wasn’t ready to deal with a real woman, one that was serious about being in a relationship. Once I ended it with him i finally asked the mother of his children if they were still dealing with each other. Let me tell you, I got 6 hours worth of information and all tea disgusted me.

It’s crazy the lengths guys will go through to make sure they can keep multiple women on their arms. I had wasted about 6 months with a total scumbag, liar, manipulator, someone who enjoyed playing the game and was beginning to believe his own lies. I’ve dealt with this kind of thing before but this was on a new level and now when I sense any bullshit with guys, I cut the conversation short before it can get any further. You’d think the older you get the more serious people would become but it’s the complete opposite. It’s a same but I’m making sure I stir clear of those players.