Here we are again, starting a new year. 2020 came extremely fast this year, not leaving me with much time to reflect. So for my first blog post of 2020, I figured I’d do some reflecting on my 2019 by answering a few questions.
1. How Would I Describe My 2019 In 3 – 5 Words?
A roller-coaster of emotions.
2. How Did I Have Fun?
Though I had many moments where I felt like I was going to have mental breakdowns from working and being a mother/auntie; my 2019 was so much fun. I went to a number of concerts, traveled a lot more and spent almost every month of 2019 with my family celebrating life and each other. I got to see B2K reunited at The Millennium Tour in LA, although the best part of the concert was the opening acts. I was finally able to see Jhene at the Lights On Festival. I had a super fun 29th birthday party at my great aunts house and then spent the rest of my birthday in Arizona with my best friend Asia (one of the only females that’s remained by my side since we’ve met). We got to take my son & niece to Vegas for the first time and they got to see JoJo Siwa. I turned up in Atlanta with my sister and cousins. Went to Puerto Vallarta & got to swim with Dolphins, which was the the greatest and scariest thing I’ve ever done, especially since I can’t swim (lessons coming in 2020 for me and my son.) Gosh and I can’t even caught the amount of gatherings we’ve had with my close family members. We always have a wonderful time together. Even volunteering at my son’s school and going on our first field trip was fun. I also went to a few lounges.
3. What Did I Learn About Myself?
Throughout 2019 I learned a lot about myself, one of those things was I’m kind of a pushover and I put a lot of people’s needs before mine. I was risking my happiness in order to please those around me and to avoid hurting other’s. I talked to a therapist for this first time and every conversation we had, I noticed I was making excuses for why I couldn’t do things for myself and it always lead to me realizing it was because I didn’t want to let anyone else down or feel like a burden to them. Another thing I learned was that I had become very detached when it came to forming new relationships with people based off some of my failed relationships/friendships towards the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019.
4. What Is This Most Important Lesson I Learned?
Be patient as a mother and to not take out my frustrations on my child. My son started Kindergarten and as excited as I was, I was not prepared from the massive amounts of homework he would be receiving. After all, how much homework can a 5-year-old handle? Apparently a lot and it wasn’t only him learning but me as well. It’s easy to become frustrated when trying to teach your child, especially things they already know. I found myself yelling a lot more and I finally had to take a step back and realize he was probably just as frustrated as me. I had to take into consideration that he was spending long hours at school while I was working and was tired by the end of the day. I had to find new positive ways to keep him focused and wanting to learn, which took me being patient and understanding. Overall I’m still learning how to be an amazing mother and what does and does not work with my son in all aspects of life.
5. What I Was Disappointed About In 2019?
As a writer, new author and small business owner I am always disappointed when it comes to my books and clothing barely being noticed. Sometimes it seems like no matter how much I promote my work, it’s just not being noticed. I know I told myself I would do more events and pop up shops to get my work out there after having my book signing but I didn’t reach the goals I wanted due to me feeling like I didn’t have the time and also being afraid of the possible outcomes. Another thing is I felt like I was becoming discouraged the more time went by, especially when I seen other’s that used me for inspiration and/or my whole marketing scheme, which was doing much better or getting more recognition mine. It’s disappointing knowing you have to rework you’re whole marketing scheme because you don’t want to look like you are copying another person’s framework when really they just took mine and had more time on their hands to put their all into it. BUT I know nothing happens overnight and I’ve only been at this for about a year. There’s still a lot I can learn and a lot more people I can reach.
6. What Is One Accomplishment I Am Proud Of?
2019 I got to edit my first urban fiction book that was not mine. It’s a different feeling when you are helping another person live out their dreams of becoming a published author. I look forward to being able to edit more books. It may seem small but it was a major accomplishment for me and I was honored someone put their trust into me when it came to their passion project.