“I like being touched but like… not too much.”

If you truly know me you’ll know that I’m the most affectionate yet un-affectionate person there is. Weird, I know! But it’s something about a person having there hands on me for too long that puts me in a space, an uncomfortable one, especially if my mood doesn’t call for it. It’s like if I’ve told you to back away from me and you don’t I become irritated no matter how affectionate or friendly I was with you before.

Anyways, I haven’t been in a relationship or remotely close to anyone in a long time, so I’ve become a stranger to the touch of another. Recently I got to experience a little bit of that and now I’m suddenly craving more affection. It got me interested in learning more about the power of touch; how it effects a person?

The first thing we all should know is that touch is the first sense we develop and it’s one of the most powerful forms of communication, along with eye connection. It’s also good for one’s emotional well being. Touch can soothe you, help you heal and strengthen connections. But not every touch is the same; it can be a cold and cause distance between you and another, which may be one of the reason’s I’m not always welcome to touch or people in general. Energy is real and some people don’t give off the most welcome energy. Touch can also be harmful, which is why there are rules when it comes to touch; unspoken. It is always important for us to feel safe.

The Rules:

• Touch must feel non-sexually harassing – for example a touch to the face from a stranger or coworker can come off very inappropriate and uncomfortable. From an intimate partner is can come off as tender communication but it can also be a way for a partner to take dominance or control over you.
• A touch to the waist can also be inappropriate so if you don’t know someone it’s best to avoid that area
  • When trying to get someone’s attention a touch on the shoulder is less harassing.

The Powers A Touch Have:

• Reduces Stress
• Communicates Compassion Towards Others
• Brings People Closer: 20 seconds of a hug, hand stroke, etc is enough to release Oxycontin
• Nurtures Growth & Development in Children
• Decreases Violent Behavior
• Creates Trust Between Individuals
• Improves Intimate Relationships

As much as I try to avoid contact with humans, it’s safe to say that at the end of the day we all need someone, whether it be a friend, lover or just a smile from a stranger walking by. It’s normal to want to guard yourself from the world but there is so much you can gain from the human experience and I will note that it doesn’t have to be an intimate encounter. As long as boundaries are respected and others know what is acceptable the human touch can nourish us spiritually, keep us feeling strong and healthy, and nurture our relationships. Why would we want to rob ourselves of the positive outcomes that come with the human touch?