Did I ever tell you guys I did therapy for awhile? It wasn’t something I had planned on doing but during the time I was unemployed it was an option for me; one that I’m glad I was given and till this day I wish I found another therapist to continue to see. Taking the time to talk to someone outside of your circle brings a lot to the forefront that you would have never seen if it weren’t for a therapist. One of those things that came to light was it’s not my responsibility to make sure everyone around me or that I love is okay.
I’ve spent so much time holding myself back and neglecting taking care of myself because I’ve always been the type of person to base what I do in my life on others, whether that be in a relationship, with my family, or in my career. My thought process has always been if I do this I won’t be able to do that for them, which shouldn’t even be in my thoughts unless it’s something that I need to do for my son. In all honesty my son should be the only person I’m taking care of and making life easier for, until he is able to take care of himself, and my parents of course when they are unable to do for themselves.
I’ve put my time and my money into making sure people have had clothes on their backs, food in their stomachs, money in their pockets and even my car to get to and from places. I’ve done this for people who’ve never done anything for me like EVER, but I did it because I felt some sort of obligation to. If I love and care about them why wouldn’t I, right? but that should never be the case and you should never feel bad about saying no, especially if it’s going to affect you in some sort of way.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to want to be that person that loves and cares for other people. It can actually have certain benefits like: lowering your blood pressure, it teaches patience, understanding, loyalty and sometimes it just feels good to make someone else happy, but it can also have it’s negatives. Spending time taking care of everyone else will always lead to you neglecting yourself and feeling like you aren’t worthy of others love and care. Eventually you may get to a point where you start rejecting those that want to be in the position you’ve always been in; wanting to care for you and love you unconditionally.
Before you get into the habit of making sure everyone in your life is okay, make sure you are taking care of yourself first. Once you are aligned mentally, physically and spiritually you’ll be in a position to accept the help you need, as well as helping others, but remember you aren’t obligated.