In the world of parenting, the phrase, “mom guilt” is appearing more and more. In society the expectation to be a nearly perfect mother is higher than ever, especially with the take over of social media. At first, criticism only happened in the household. Now, we have a world of people trying to tell parents the best ways to raise their children.
Mother’s can barely speak on postpartum or the stress they feel when it comes to being a mother without a troll coming into their comments telling them how they shouldn’t have become a mother or how bad of a parent they are for having those feelings.
Imagine the strain that puts on a woman who already feels she isn’t doing the best job she can as a mother. It can be damaging.
So what is mom guilt exactly?
Guilt is the feeling of having done or thinking you’ve done something wrong. It’s a feeling mothers across the globe share. We can feel shameful and worry about if we are doing our job as a mother correctly.
A lot of the time you will have negative thoughts about yourself because you feel as if you are always making mistakes or feeling as if you weren’t meant to be a mom, since you’re no good at it.
On New Year’s Eve I was asked what was my low in 2021 and my answer came down to me not feeling like a good mother. Of course everyone reassured me that I have been doing an amazing job, but it wasn’t something I could completely agree with.
I cried about it because any mother in my situation knows it’s a shitty feeling to have.
Signs You May Be Experiencing Mom Quilt
- Feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders
- Anxious or constantly on edge
- You’re more exhausted than usual
- May become dependent on alcohol, social media, shopping to feel better
- Spends time trying ti be a perfectionist
Is Mom Quilt Something to Worry About?
The simple answer is no. What you are going through is normal and I’m pretty sure if you asked a room full of moms if they ever find themselves feeling guilty, each and everyone of them will answer yes. Being a parent isn’t a straightforward job and it’s not supposed to be easy.
Yes, we have the responsibility of raising and teaching another human being, but becoming a parent is a learning experience within itself.
BUT, if you do find yourself in a deep depression over the guilt and you can’t seem to get yourself out of it, find someone to talk to, whether that be family, friends, other moms or even a therapist.