There is no trauma that is bigger or smaller than the other. Women go through so much in life that we began to think it’s the norm to hold onto our pain and don’t label what we are feeling as a form of trauma we’ve dealt with. For awhile I didn’t think I had anything wrong with me until I began looking back on my journals. Seeing what I wrote from clear eyes shocked me; a slap to the face, telling me I was hurt, a little bitter, kind of sad and didn’t have my life together.
In order to gain back our power and put the pieces back together, we must heal first.
Below I leave you all with some affirmations and quotes to do just that:
I acknowledge my unresolved feelings.
I am willing to be at peace with myself and those who have hurt me.
I am open to the healing process.
I will allow myself to feel the emotions flowing through me and release them in the most positive way I can.
I know that change doesn’t happen all in a day, but I am open to the journey towards a life I’m proud to be living
I will take each day as it comes and find ways to turn the pain into love.
Today I will look in the mirror and speak love into my heart.
I forgive myself and hold no grudges towards those that contributed to my pain.
Today and everyday I choose to be patient.
The wounds I’ve developed are not my fault but choosing not to heal will be.
So as some of you all know, I do not like to spend money on unnecessary things and I’m finding more things to be unnecessary expenses that I don’t need. So I would like to share some things I no longer spend my hard earned coins on in hopes that it can also help those of you that are looking for more ways to save as well. So, here we go.
Hair Products — this one took me a while to finally get. I was a product junkie and guess what? I finally realized that there is no magic product to make my hair do whatever I thought it was supposed to do based off the claims from some of these companies. When it all comes down to it, it’s about how I care for my hair and less about the products I put in it. Some people swear by certain products and that’s ok but it’s not for me, therefore, bye bye to the expensive products I’ve bought. The only thing that was changing was the dollars in my pocket and I mean that literally. Dollars were turning into cents, smh!
Bottled water — So this one is actually a toss up and some people prefer it and that’s fine. I actually don’t buy it for myself but my daughter drinks it so I buy it for her. I have a filter on my refrigerator and that is where I get my water to drink from. Now sometimes if you’re out it might be ok to have, but, I’m home most times so I just drink from the fridge and I’m good with that. Besides I can always put water in a bottle from my fridge too when I’m going out.
Phone chargers — This one sounds really weird, I know, but check it out; I used to go through a lot of chargers every year until I learned why they would go out and what to do to fix it. My chargers would act up after moving them around too much, what I mean by this is that I would bring my one and only charger from the house to the car to work and anywhere else I would have to go, even letting my daughter borrow it and after so much plugging in and plugging out and going back and forth it wouldn’t work. One day I bought one for home, one for the car and one for work and they stayed at each of these places. I also bought my daughter her own so she doesn’t need to borrow mine.
Car loan interest — I have bought my last few cars brand new and I haven’t always received the interest rate I wanted to when first getting the loan but about three to six months into the loan it’s good to refinance to get a cheaper interest rate and save the money you would have otherwise spent on the initial interest rate over the period of the loan.
In season or new items — I don’t buy the “latest” of anything, I never really have. I wait until the season is over to buy something I may have wanted to buy because chances are it’s going for a better price now that it’s novelty of “newness” has worn off. I do this with just about everything, except food, of course.
So ladies, the next time you get that bonus check or overtime money you worked so hard for, try to save it and put it to good use. I hope this list helps you spend your coins more wisely.
Did I ever tell you guys I did therapy for awhile? It wasn’t something I had planned on doing but during the time I was unemployed it was an option for me; one that I’m glad I was given and till this day I wish I found another therapist to continue to see. Taking the time to talk to someone outside of your circle brings a lot to the forefront that you would have never seen if it weren’t for a therapist. One of those things that came to light was it’s not my responsibility to make sure everyone around me or that I love is okay.
I’ve spent so much time holding myself back and neglecting taking care of myself because I’ve always been the type of person to base what I do in my life on others, whether that be in a relationship, with my family, or in my career. My thought process has always been if I do this I won’t be able to do that for them, which shouldn’t even be in my thoughts unless it’s something that I need to do for my son. In all honesty my son should be the only person I’m taking care of and making life easier for, until he is able to take care of himself, and my parents of course when they are unable to do for themselves.
I’ve put my time and my money into making sure people have had clothes on their backs, food in their stomachs, money in their pockets and even my car to get to and from places. I’ve done this for people who’ve never done anything for me like EVER, but I did it because I felt some sort of obligation to. If I love and care about them why wouldn’t I, right? but that should never be the case and you should never feel bad about saying no, especially if it’s going to affect you in some sort of way.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to want to be that person that loves and cares for other people. It can actually have certain benefits like: lowering your blood pressure, it teaches patience, understanding, loyalty and sometimes it just feels good to make someone else happy, but it can also have it’s negatives. Spending time taking care of everyone else will always lead to you neglecting yourself and feeling like you aren’t worthy of others love and care. Eventually you may get to a point where you start rejecting those that want to be in the position you’ve always been in; wanting to care for you and love you unconditionally.
Before you get into the habit of making sure everyone in your life is okay, make sure you are taking care of yourself first. Once you are aligned mentally, physically and spiritually you’ll be in a position to accept the help you need, as well as helping others, but remember you aren’t obligated.
Remember that one post I wrote awhile back about how I had a few DIY projects I wanted to do? Well after a few months I finally took my behind in the kitchen and made myself some lip balm, which I absolutely love. I’m one of those girls who will buy about 3 lip balms or chap-sticks at a time and lose 2 out of 3 within the week and that stuff is not one bit of cheap okay, especially if you like Burt’s Bee like me. BUT what I created may be way better, longer lasting, healthier and it makes my lips feel like heaven.
I went in the bathroom and grabbed all the supplies I ordered two months prior, then went in the kitchen to start melting down my beeswax, cocoa butter, Shea butter and coconut oil. Once it all melted down I added in some almond oil, a few drops of lavender oil and strawberry fragrance oil. That alone, only took about 4-5 minutes and pouring it into my 10ml travel jars only took a minute. So, in total making your own lip balm takes about 6 minutes. I was able to fill up 7 jars with the measurements I used:
2 tbsp of beeswax
1 tbsp coconut oil
I tbsp Shea Butter
1 tbsp Cocoa Butter
1 tbsp Sweet Almond Oil
Now when it comes to the oils, add how ever much or less you want. For the fragrance oils I’ve heard some people say they had to use the whole bottle but I didn’t have to and it smells just like strawberry lip balm, even after it cooled off, which took about a minute or so.
I found this particular recipe on Pinterest and tweaked it a bit. You can play around with the measurements and even add in different oils. Next time I’m going to try adding in jojoba oil and maybe use a little color from my lipsticks I never use to add a tint to the balm. I recommend using this balm as a primer under your lipstick or add it to you’re nightly routine. I used my homemade vanilla brown sugar lip scrub and then applied the lip balm after. When I woke up my lips were not dry or splitting like I’m used to in the morning.
You can also use these same ingredients, minus the fragrance oil to make a body balm. I’m going to look more into how to make that and body butter next time around. Either way I’m very happy to save some money and I have a ton of supplies left to make more. I gave a jar to everyone in the house including the kids and had one left to spare. Also this will last for a year, but I’m sure I’ll use mine up before then.
FYI: make sure to keep them in a cool place if you don’t want to end up with a jar of oil.
Can you believe we are still in a pandemic? I can lol.
For 4.5 months I’ve been sitting home doing work and that’s about it. I haven’t had the opportunity to go sit in somebodies chair at the nail salon to get my feet pampered or my nails done. Buuuttt I also don’t want to because Covid is real. Thanks to some of these places opening, press ons, which were already my thing when I needed a quick fix, are back on the shelves. It made be realize I may never need to go back to a salon again.
Seeing that I’ll most likely be working from home for two more months I decided to go all in and take the time to start those DIY Beauty & Health projects I’ve been putting off for months, some even years. Some of my favorite things in life are sugar/salt scrubs for my lips and my body, lipstick/chapstick, candles and I’ve definitely been into the nail thing (press-ons that is because I can’t stand having nails on all the time). So with that said, I jumped on Amazon and ordered me supplies to start doing my nails:
BTArtbox Full Cover False Nails – clear
10Pcs Adhesive Bond Glue
UV LED Nail Lamp
AIBRIT 24 Pcs Gel Polish
Cuccio Milk & Honey Cuticle Oil
The amount of money spent on getting the items is already less than it would be had I went to get my nails done. Isn’t it everyone’s dream to save? I know it’s mine. Once I get the hang of giving myself a manicure and getting these nails perfected I think I also want to try using foil covers on them, so that will be next on my to get list.
Another project I’ll be experimenting with is making lip balm. I know most women have gone into the business of selling lip gloss but those are not my motives, although once upon a time I wanted to start a lipstick company. I’ve had all the items I’ve needed sitting in my cart for almost a year now and I can even use some of my old lip sticks or gloss to play around with tint. I’m so over buying lip balm just to turn around lose it and buy more. I’ll just start making my own. Once I order my stuff and make some I will post the pics and steps for you guys! Along with that I’ll probably also try out a lip scrub.
Are their any special projects you’ve always wanted to do or are currently working on? Share your DIY projects in the comments below.
I think my last one I will try is candle making. I need to look into that a little more though.
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