Have you ever found yourself walking down the hall and you almost bump into a coworker or notice someone you’ve never paid attention to before? Or have you ran into someone in the break room and you start feeling butterflies? Suddenly you look up and see this beautiful person in front of you. From that moment you find yourself attracted and wanting to learn more about who they are as a person but there’s that part of you that’s saying don’t mix your professional and personal life. Yet you find yourself flirting every now and then or find yourself looking a little too long and immediately having to look away when you see them coming your way. There are days you don’t know if you should speak or stay hidden away in your corner of the office. It’s actually kind of torturous.
Anyways this is currently happening to me. I’ve found myself attracted to someone who works in the same building as me. I’ve noticed him for months ever since I almost walked right into him. Besides the fact that he is handsome and funny (I got some courage to speak to him), every time I look his way something in me goes, “I want to learn all about that man.” Now, I’m telling myself I have no intentions of crossing any boundaries but wouldn’t I be if I acted on thoughts of wanting to get to know him outside of the office? Not anything sexual but just wanting to catch a show, go for a walk and build a friendship outside of work. Who knows he may not even want to get to know me in that way so why say anything at all right? Or what happens if a friendship turns into something romantic. Then you have to worry about mixing love and work; the consequences that could possibly come with it.
This conflict I’ve been having with myself got me thinking about workplace romance and that’s where this piece comes into place…
People that treat you as if you are an object they own or one of their misbehaved children. I’m neither of those. You cannot speak to me any kind of way you want. You cannot monitor where and where I do not go. You cannot tell me who to be friends with. You cannot tell me how to speak and how I should carry myself. That goes for people I have history with and people I do not. Do not try to use the love I have or had for you to make me submit to you and your commands. I am a grown woman and you should treat me as such. Show me some respect and I will grant you with the same. BUT I will not be told to ask for permission or that I need to do this or that in order for me to be in your life. You’ve made it clear to me that all you want is control. Those are the kind of people I’ve worked so hard to remove from my life. The people who feel entitled and think they can do as they please but are complete hypocrites when it comes to others. They want to control the situation and you at the same time. I cannot be controlled and for that matter why would you want to be with a person that does as you say every time you say it. Let others be their own person. Stop thinking that it’s your way or no way. Stop treating people like property when you know you don’t want to be treated the same. I’m finding that the people that show this type of behavior are the ones who can’t even commit to a relationship/friendship. They don’t want to speak to nor spend time with you but want to have control over your life.
STOP! YOU’RE PISSING ME OFF
A Fed Up Black Woman ❤
Okay I’m going to try this again since my last post got deleted… how annoying.
About a month ago, maybe less, I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do and the idea of downloading a dating app came to mind. Honestly I wasn’t looking to meet anyone but more so curious when it came to how they worked and who would view my profile. If I did find myself interested in someone what was the worst that could happen? Ok maybe they could be some creepy psycho stalker guy. They do exist. I know you’ve watched Lifetime & the ID channel. Usually it’s some crazy man on a dating app luring in is victims. I’m not trying to be one of those. Plus when I told one of my best friends I downloaded the apps she told me about a coworker who meet a guy and he drugged her so she wouldn’t be able to leave his place. I was surprised to find out she was still using the apps.
But then again not all people are out there trying to prey on single women. Some men are genuinely looking to make a connection with another person. Maybe they aren’t able to get out the house much and found a dating app was the next best thing when it came to meeting someone. Maybe they were out meeting people the old fashion way and having horrible luck. Either way there are people finding true love on apps and even getting married. It’s no different from meeting up with someone from Instagram or Facebook if you think about it. Continue reading
The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time
Polyamory n :
is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time.
Before getting into this I thought it was important to share a few definitions explaining polygamy but I believe it is also important to share the difference between being in a open relationship. When looking at the two they are similar when it comes to multiple parties being involved. With open relationships it is agreed that it is okay to take on new partners outside of the relationship but you do not have to speak to, see, or be committed to that other relationship in anyway. It’s basically living two separate lives but in this case you are in the know. As with a polyamorous relationship those involved are all committed, in most cases a man and two women.
Almost two years ago I started on my journey towards losing weight. Most of my life I was tiny, no more than 110 lbs. Looking back on those pictures I told myself I never want to be that small again. It didn’t look good on me. It wasn’t until I turned 22 when I started gaining all my weight. I liked to think of it as my happy weight. I was in a good relationship, eating good and smoking a lot, which meant a lot of milk and cookies. The weight I was gaining I didn’t even notice. At that point in life I was confident with the way I looked. It didn’t bother me that my clothes were getting too small and my face was getting chunky. I felt beautiful probably the most I had ever felt.
I’d say it was a year after having my son, a month after his 1st birthday exactly that I started feeling a certain way about how I looked. I had been working at Google for a few months and with all the free food they were providing I started gaining all the baby weight back plus more. I was feeling uncomfortable in my own body so I reached out to a health coach to help me lose the weight. For awhile it was working. I was feeling good about myself and I lost a good amount of weight, 22 lbs, using Herbalife.
Love has been everything to me growing up. I’ve always been in love with love. It has been something I’ve always wanted and believed I would have by 27, which I’ll be in May, and married with more kids by 30. When I think of love I always had this fairytale picture painted in my head and it has not been what I thought it would be.
The love I’ve had in my life has been somewhat a dysfunctional kind. You know the love that you start off thinking is going to be forever but then true colors start to show. In fact it’s not love at all, it’s lust and that’s why in the beginning everything seems to be picture perfect. Suddenly the love you thought you had begins to mistreat you, use you, manipulate you, disrespect you and slowly break you down. It’s nothing like what you’ve imagined it to be. It’s not as beautiful as you thought it would be but instead it was painful and took awhile to pick up the pieces that were shattered and go on with life. I came across a few people I thought had the potential to love until they also betrayed me in ways they said they wouldn’t. Yet I still believed there was a love out there made for me and only me.