Remember that silly ass rule that you aren’t allowed to date one of your friend’s exes or someone they liked? It made sense when the person in this case was someone you considered a real friend aka someone you communicate with daily, share secrets/confide in and spend time with each other’s family. Of course in that case it can be considered betrayal depending on how your friend feels about said ex. Your friend may feel disrespected and never want to speak to you if you do decide to cross that line.
I’ve always been a person that believed it’s an excuse to stop another person’s happiness especially if you don’t consider the person a friend. That has been something I’ve noticed a lot these days. The ‘no dating a friend’s ex’ rule does not apply to someone you only know from social media. Just because you like each other’s pictures or leave a comment here and there doesn’t mean a friendship was built. It’s social media and If we’ve never exchanged numbers and attempted to build a friendship outside of cyberspace your feelings don’t mean much to me.
Have you ever found yourself walking down the hall and you almost bump into a coworker or notice someone you’ve never paid attention to before? Or have you ran into someone in the break room and you start feeling butterflies? Suddenly you look up and see this beautiful person in front of you. From that moment you find yourself attracted and wanting to learn more about who they are as a person but there’s that part of you that’s saying don’t mix your professional and personal life. Yet you find yourself flirting every now and then or find yourself looking a little too long and immediately having to look away when you see them coming your way. There are days you don’t know if you should speak or stay hidden away in your corner of the office. It’s actually kind of torturous.
Anyways this is currently happening to me. I’ve found myself attracted to someone who works in the same building as me. I’ve noticed him for months ever since I almost walked right into him. Besides the fact that he is handsome and funny (I got some courage to speak to him), every time I look his way something in me goes, “I want to learn all about that man.” Now, I’m telling myself I have no intentions of crossing any boundaries but wouldn’t I be if I acted on thoughts of wanting to get to know him outside of the office? Not anything sexual but just wanting to catch a show, go for a walk and build a friendship outside of work. Who knows he may not even want to get to know me in that way so why say anything at all right? Or what happens if a friendship turns into something romantic. Then you have to worry about mixing love and work; the consequences that could possibly come with it.
This conflict I’ve been having with myself got me thinking about workplace romance and that’s where this piece comes into place…
Okay I’m going to try this again since my last post got deleted… how annoying.
About a month ago, maybe less, I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do and the idea of downloading a dating app came to mind. Honestly I wasn’t looking to meet anyone but more so curious when it came to how they worked and who would view my profile. If I did find myself interested in someone what was the worst that could happen? Ok maybe they could be some creepy psycho stalker guy. They do exist. I know you’ve watched Lifetime & the ID channel. Usually it’s some crazy man on a dating app luring in is victims. I’m not trying to be one of those. Plus when I told one of my best friends I downloaded the apps she told me about a coworker who meet a guy and he drugged her so she wouldn’t be able to leave his place. I was surprised to find out she was still using the apps.
But then again not all people are out there trying to prey on single women. Some men are genuinely looking to make a connection with another person. Maybe they aren’t able to get out the house much and found a dating app was the next best thing when it came to meeting someone. Maybe they were out meeting people the old fashion way and having horrible luck. Either way there are people finding true love on apps and even getting married. It’s no different from meeting up with someone from Instagram or Facebook if you think about it. Continue reading
The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time
Polyamory n :
is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time.
Before getting into this I thought it was important to share a few definitions explaining polygamy but I believe it is also important to share the difference between being in a open relationship. When looking at the two they are similar when it comes to multiple parties being involved. With open relationships it is agreed that it is okay to take on new partners outside of the relationship but you do not have to speak to, see, or be committed to that other relationship in anyway. It’s basically living two separate lives but in this case you are in the know. As with a polyamorous relationship those involved are all committed, in most cases a man and two women.
I never liked dating… to be honest up until my son I literally always had a boyfriend. Once me and my son’s dad didn’t work out I swore off dating for almost a year. My main focus was on my son, to get over my heartbreak and build my strength back up. Doing that meant there was no room for any men to come in my life and fuck me up any further.
Once I did start thinking about dating, which really only came to mind when I wanted to get out the house, I started thinking who wants someone who just had a kid. Then it was like okay what if i start liking the person I’m dating. I can’t just bring anyone around unless they are serious about me. A million thoughts started to run through my mind again and I was just like I do not want to do this dating thing anymore. It was going to be way too much for me to handle. How was I gong to split my time between my son and whatever guy I let in my life? Shit I wasn’t. My son was going to always come before him and not a lot of guys could handle that. If you were going to date me your were going to have to understand I can’t come running like most girls and I’m definitely not going to play games.
Before even entertaining anyone the first thing I mentioned was my son and the following questions followed:
- How do you feel about women with kids?
- Have you dated someone with kids?
- Do you like kids?
- Are you looking for something serious or casual?
I didn’t want to get involved with anyone who wasn’t looking toward the future. If they were looking to have “fun” I wasn’t interested.