I’m going to put it out there that I’m not a huge fan of the holidays. I mean…I like to go see my family around these times, but who doesn’t? Especially those that live far and you don’t get to see that often. I don’t buy gifts often and when I do it’s normally just one or two for a couple people in my life. Other times it’s just as simple as a card. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cheap but as I stated earlier I’m not a huge fan of the holidays, especially since my dad passed just before the winter holiday season started several years ago, six to be exact. Even when my dad was alive spending time with him was the best gift to me and that was often, holiday time or not.
I don’t want to rob anyone of their joy of the holiday season, but this time will definitely be different for all of us as we face the current pandemic. Many of us I know have kids that we want to bring smiles to their faces just as we have last year and years before. If you help them understand that family being together is the most precious gift of all then it may help ease everyone’s disappointment of not being able to do what they may have been able to before.
So, how do you tell a five, six, or even eleven year old child this and make them understand? I’m not really sure because I don’t have children this young but I did grow up as the kid that didn’t have a Christmas Tree in our house or get Christmas presents because my dad didn’t buy into these holidays. So maybe I can help you navigate through the difficulty of letting your precious babies down easily in this unexpected time.
Here are a few other ways to make the most of this season:
1) Try your best to explain the importance of family. Sit around on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in your favorite pajamas. Have fun making hot chocolate with them (maybe draw some smiling faces in it with cinnamon and marshmallows 😁)
2) Go back to the basics. Pick up a board game or a 500 to 1,000 piece puzzle that can be completed by Christmas or New Year’s.
3) If you have any change left after bills are paid buy something inexpensive. You can even find some nice new stuff at a local thrift store😉 (I have, plenty of times). Wrap it up really nice and watch the little one’s face light up!
4) Go to a local dollar store, they have all kinds of stuff for just a dollar, and let the kids pick out some seasonal “Christmassy” decor to decorate around the house. If you can’t afford a tree they have tiny trees, lights, stockings along with a lot of other stuff that you can find. This is really fun and it can be done for any holiday or special event.
5) Pick up a gingerbread house kit and make a plan on Christmas morning to work on this with the little ones….they really like this! I know I did as a kid👍🏾😜
I hope this really helps and encourage you to encourage another!
Have you ever had a moment where you’ve come to realize that you just may be the most god-awful person in the world? Like everyone around you would probably be better off if you ducked off to some private island or a secluded house into the woods? I have this feeling more than I’d like to admit and I just ask myself, what did I do to deserve to feel this way, especially from a little kid; the life I created?
Sometimes I just feel like a crap of a mom, who doesn’t deserve to bring another life into the world, which I probably won’t. As a grown woman I know it’s normal for younger children to have their outburst and turn you into the villain from their favorite show or movie because you’ve told them to:
STOP MAKING ALL THAT DAMN NOISE
GO TO YOUR ROOMNOW!!
IT’S TIME TO TAKE A SHOWER.
NO MORE SNACKS
BRUSH YOUR TEETH
IT’S TIME TO GO TO BED!
But the responses you receive and the actions they take to prove how upset you’ve made them is like a bullet to the heart. I’ve heard the words, I hate you, I want a new mom, I want to live with (insert name(s) here) but not you, among other things you really don’t want to hear from your little one. You know they don’t mean it and they would have a heart-attack if you really sent them off to a new mom or family, but the thought lingers in the back of your mind of whether or not you’re truly deserving of your own kid.
Since the day I found out I was pregnant I’ve always worried about if I was going to be a good mom and I wonder if my kid will grow up hating my guts or be appreciative of all I’ve done and taught him. He’s still young but it’s hard not to wonder if you are making them happy. My son loves to be under me, play games with me and he always wants to cuddle, but sometimes he has moments where I feel like he just doesn’t like me. They say it’s a phase that’s pretty much like puberty but the shit sucks and I know I still have years of him having his moments of hating me because I didn’t get himself, let him do something, or told him right from wrong, which he probably won’t realize I was right and only looking out for his best interest until he’s an adult.
That also means I’m still going to have moment’s of feeling like a crappy mom but that’s alright. I’m pretty sure it won’t always be that way. Part of being a human being is feeling both emotions of love and hate. We feel it as adults so it’s only normal for our children to feel the same. All we can do it continue to teach them about how to be respectful and how to spread more love than ill feelings towards others. It’s going to be a test but I think we’ll pass it in the end.
Friday I decided to have some time to myself (with the company of my cousin). I headed to Chevy’s, ate some chips and salsa, devoured some hot wings, and had a few drinks while talking for hours. It was just the Friday night I needed and one I hadn’t had for quiet some time. It was honestly a night I didn’t know I needed until I walked out the door and a sense of relief came over me. I was finally getting away from the kids and this time I didn’t feel bad about it.
When it comes to being a full-time mother it’s rare that we get time to be to ourselves, especially if you also work full-time. We get into the routine of waking up, packing lunches, getting the kids dressed and off to school. Then comes the full day at work that doesn’t always go as planned and can drain the life out of you before you get back to the kids school for pick up. Once you pick them up now you have to make snacks, do homework, make dinner and go through a whole bedtime routine. How does the world expect us mother’s not to be physically/mentally drained?
Due to the judgement of others, a lot of mother’s don’t express the amount of exhaustion they feel or how they need or want a break from being a mom for just a day—hell, even a few hours. We get told not to complain because, “it’s your job,” and “that’s what you’re supposed to do.” As a mother we already know it’s our jobs to make sure our children are well taken care of, happy and healthy but we also can’t put our self-care to the side because eventually we will break and mom’s, you do not want that to happen.
It’s time to start making time for yourselves moms and below is a list of how you can do it!
TAKE YOURSELF TO A MOVIE
I’m sure there may be a list of movies you’ve been dying to see but haven’t quite had the time. Plan a day away from the kids and go see one of them. This will give you at least 2 hours away from the clutter and screaming children.
GO OUT TO EAT
Plan a lunch/dinner date with a few girlfriends or family you haven’t seen in awhile. Treat yourself to a drink while at it. You deserve it!
Go for a nice walk, a hike, do some yoga or take a boxing class. Some fresh air and a nice sweat is just the break you may need. This will give you time to clear your mind, relieve stress and get healthy during the process.
TAKE TIME TO RELAX
After a long day of mommy duties run a warm bath & maybe even light a candle. You’ll be sure to get a good night’s sleep.
It’ll be the best nap you’ve every had and is sure to keep you going throughout the day. Sometimes we think we need those long hour naps to re-energize but some times those are the same naps that keep us feeling sluggish throughout the day,
Whatever you do, make sure to always make time for YOU!
As a mother with a 5-year-old son, one of my main goals is to make sure he always feels good about himself and has faith in what he is doing. This is something I’d like to instill in him so he remembers his worth and the power he carries within him, as he grows into a man. With a few affirmations a day, in the morning, before doing homework or at bedtime, parents can change their child’s mindset in a positive way.
Before I get into sharing a few affirmations with you, I want to explain how I got into doing this practice with my son.
If you follow my blog, you know that my son started kindergarten back in August. For a kinder classroom, his school has a pretty advanced curriculum, which as a 5-year-old I didn’t have to learn. Currently, they are teaching the kids how to read, tell time, etc and to my satisfaction my son is at grade level, but a little over a month ago that wasn’t the case. His teacher had sent a red note in his yellow folder explaining he was below grade level. Based on the color of the note my son knew something was wrong and I wanted to be open and honest with him. I wen’t on to explain that he needed to practice his blends and vowels and asked him what it was in class he couldn’t really remember.
After our conversation, I’m not sure if he could sense my concerns but he began to cry harder than I’ve ever seen him cry. His feelings were hurt and watching the tears roll down his little face broke my heart. I felt like I failed and I could see that he was already losing his confidence. That’s when I decided it was time to figure out how to lift his spirits, get him excited about learning and instill the confidence he had before we talked about him being a little behind. I knew affirmations were just the thing for him.
If you’re dealing with a younger kid like mine, you’ll want to keep the affirmations short and simple. I like to have my son look in the mirror or we look at each other; face-to-face and start by saying, “I AM.” One of his favorites to say is, “I Am Smart.”
Here are a list of affirmations that will help your child(ren) believe in themselves and develop a habit of having positive thoughts:
I am intelligent
I am brave
I am protected
I can do anything
I am creative
I am a good student
I am a good friend
I am worthy
I am kind
I love myself
I am loved
Once you begin saying affirmations with you child(ren) daily you will start to notice a change in their personalities and they will even begin to recite them on their own, as well as start encouraging others around them.