With the New Year comes the same phrase, “New Year New Me,” and the same countdown to the days people will be cutting everyone out of their lives. With the New Year comes the same ole resolutions that people aren’t going to see through just like they didn’t follow through the year before and the year before that. We are into Day 2 of 2018 and as I go through my socials there’s not much of a change I’ve seen in anyone. People have the same toxic people in their lives, still talk about the same ole drama, still in love with that cheating ass nigga and still treating their “King/Queen” like the peasants they are not.
Why does it take 12 months for any of you to suddenly want to change? Each and everyday we should be taking the time out to better ourselves, learn something new about who we are, the people around us and the world we live in. Why does it take 365 days to suddenly say it’s time to end this toxic friendship, that dysfunctional relationship and/or business partnership? We contemplate cutting people out of our lives daily but it takes for January 1st to come around to say okay I’m finally going to do it.
People that treat you as if you are an object they own or one of their misbehaved children. I’m neither of those. You cannot speak to me any kind of way you want. You cannot monitor where and where I do not go. You cannot tell me who to be friends with. You cannot tell me how to speak and how I should carry myself. That goes for people I have history with and people I do not. Do not try to use the love I have or had for you to make me submit to you and your commands. I am a grown woman and you should treat me as such. Show me some respect and I will grant you with the same. BUT I will not be told to ask for permission or that I need to do this or that in order for me to be in your life. You’ve made it clear to me that all you want is control. Those are the kind of people I’ve worked so hard to remove from my life. The people who feel entitled and think they can do as they please but are complete hypocrites when it comes to others. They want to control the situation and you at the same time. I cannot be controlled and for that matter why would you want to be with a person that does as you say every time you say it. Let others be their own person. Stop thinking that it’s your way or no way. Stop treating people like property when you know you don’t want to be treated the same. I’m finding that the people that show this type of behavior are the ones who can’t even commit to a relationship/friendship. They don’t want to speak to nor spend time with you but want to have control over your life.
STOP! YOU’RE PISSING ME OFF
A Fed Up Black Woman ❤
Love has been everything to me growing up. I’ve always been in love with love. It has been something I’ve always wanted and believed I would have by 27, which I’ll be in May, and married with more kids by 30. When I think of love I always had this fairytale picture painted in my head and it has not been what I thought it would be.
The love I’ve had in my life has been somewhat a dysfunctional kind. You know the love that you start off thinking is going to be forever but then true colors start to show. In fact it’s not love at all, it’s lust and that’s why in the beginning everything seems to be picture perfect. Suddenly the love you thought you had begins to mistreat you, use you, manipulate you, disrespect you and slowly break you down. It’s nothing like what you’ve imagined it to be. It’s not as beautiful as you thought it would be but instead it was painful and took awhile to pick up the pieces that were shattered and go on with life. I came across a few people I thought had the potential to love until they also betrayed me in ways they said they wouldn’t. Yet I still believed there was a love out there made for me and only me.
I got the chance to be a guest blogger on Sasha Ravae‘s Blog Talk. Sasha is an author/editor as well as the Founder & CEO of Black Eden Publications. Her blog focuses on giving tips to up & coming and established writers.
Go check out my article and you may want to pick up a few books for yourself well you’re looking around.
There was a time in life I’d wake up every morning thinking I knew who I was until the day came that I realized I didn’t know myself at all. I wasn’t sure where my life was heading and if I’d ever get to that destination. I spent more time worrying about what I didn’t have that I stopped focusing on the journey ahead.
A chunk of my life has been spent letting people dictate who I’d be; mostly the men I caught myself falling for. I was weak, I didn’t have a voice and I damn sure wasn’t using my mind. I look back and I see that I almost let my life go down a path of destruction. I’ve done things that I’ll never be able to take back. For years I was upset with myself and tried to bury the past. How could I almost let my life come to that? I was disappointed in myself but that was a chapter of my life that made a piece of me. I thought I regretted the situation until I realized I learned and grew from it. I was not that person but I still had some searching to do.
As I was driving home from work the other day with my music blasting, a song popped on that made me start thinking of my past relationships. While drifting off in my thoughts I realized I knew when all my relationships were coming to an end, well except my first one. That’s a story that I don’t think has completely come to an end but we will discuss that at a different time. Anyways what I’m getting at is most of the time there are signs letting us know when we shouldn’t be with our partner anymore.
The beginning stages of a new relationship are always the happiest. The two of you are pretty much obsessed with one another; spending hours talking on the phone and if you weren’t talking then you were texting. In the beginning you actually cared how the other was feeling and wanted to spend every moment you had available together.
Arguments don’t exist and its pure happiness in the honeymoon stage. You already make plans for your future (marriage, houses and kids) before fully knowing one another. The first disagreement comes putting your true feelings to the test. If the way the two of you feel about each other before the argument remains the same, most likely you’ll have a mature conversation and work through the issues. Why throw away something at the first realization that you don’t have the same opinions?
So for about 8 months my check engine light has been on. It happened literally two days after paying almost $400 to get my brakes fixed. Of course being the person I am I stressed about it and thought my car was guaranteed to breakdown now but my dad reassured me that it would be okay and he’d take care of it. Well it took almost 6 months but I finally got my car into the shop and fixed. The stress was lifted from my shoulders until my dad hit me with the I’ll give you this much on your car when initially he told me he was paying for the whole thing. Immediately I felt myself starting to stress. I haven’t had a full paycheck in a month and all I could think about was the numerous expenses I had coming up, the money I barely have in my account, the days I just had to take off for being sick and now this $300 that I have to spend to get my car. I finally got myself together by saying, ” Hey at least you have some money to get this taken care of and out-of-the-way.”