It’s crazy that as children we seem to have our whole lives planned out in extraordinary detail:
The exact car we’ll drive
The college we’ll graduate from
When, where and how we meet the man we’ll marry
Our dream career that will be handed to us on a platter
The gated community we’ll live in
The number of children we’ll have and their gender
We have this great life planned and it’s all supposed to happen by the age of 25. BUT what happens when 25 hits and you have only accomplished one or two things on that list and the rest hasn’t fallen into place and you don’t see it happening anytime soon, what do you do?
I’ll tell you what not to do… Don’t get down on yourself and feel like you’ve failed because as long as you’re alive there’s time to do everything you’ve every wanted to. Why let the dreams you had as a child die because you’ve reached a certain age? There’s no reason to. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed time after time and no matter how many times they took a loss they didn’t give up until they won and then won again.
If I based my success off my current age I wouldn’t be considered successful to most people:
So who has watched the spinoff of Black-ish, Grown-ish with Yara Shahidi? If you haven’t it plays on Freeform aka ABC Family and you might want to stop reading the rest of this if you do not like spoilers.
Anyways in S01 E03 – If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late Zoey has been hooking up, in her case “hooking up” is strictly kissing, with her sophomore crush but after her 4th late night “U UP?” text she consults her friends for some advice before responding back. Pretty much they let her know that it’s hoe hours and there is nothing romantic about a “U Up?” text. With that said Zoey goes on to make a power move by ignoring his text and acting all nonchalant when she see’s her crush the next day in class but turns out she isn’t the only girl he’s been hooking up with. Either way once she see’s this she back to her dorm room and sends him a text. She see’s those three dots and then nothing. He’s decided not to text back and it sent poor Zoey into a texting spree, which finally came to an end when he crush wrote back, “Please stop,” and that’s where my story begins…
With the New Year comes the same phrase, “New Year New Me,” and the same countdown to the days people will be cutting everyone out of their lives. With the New Year comes the same ole resolutions that people aren’t going to see through just like they didn’t follow through the year before and the year before that. We are into Day 2 of 2018 and as I go through my socials there’s not much of a change I’ve seen in anyone. People have the same toxic people in their lives, still talk about the same ole drama, still in love with that cheating ass nigga and still treating their “King/Queen” like the peasants they are not.
Why does it take 12 months for any of you to suddenly want to change? Each and everyday we should be taking the time out to better ourselves, learn something new about who we are, the people around us and the world we live in. Why does it take 365 days to suddenly say it’s time to end this toxic friendship, that dysfunctional relationship and/or business partnership? We contemplate cutting people out of our lives daily but it takes for January 1st to come around to say okay I’m finally going to do it.
Like men, women get bored too and to fill that void we occasionally use sex. It feels good (for the most part) and it’s a quick release. Let’s face it, sex takes the stress away and it can be pretty damn fun depending on who you’re vibing with. I’m 110% guilty. I find myself feeling lonely with nothing to do and it makes it easy to turn to sex for a little excitement. The bad part about it is in order to get the sex I start to rekindle old relationships with people I stopped dealing with for obvious reasons but because I loved what they had to offer in that particular area I always found my way back. I also knew if I called they weren’t going to deny me. Not to toot my own horn but *beep beep* I got that bomb that keeps the boys coming back. Anyways they may have been jerks but I knew the sex was going to be amazing. My logic was why go out and find someone new who may have the potential to disappoint me in the bedroom when I can just go for what I know?
Guess what? 2017 is coming to an end, 2018 is literally a few weeks away. So what does that mean? Well of course everyone is talking about all the changes they are going to make: loss weight, be more outgoing, smile more, meet new positive people, pick up a hobby and of course cut all the toxic people out of their lives. The list can go on and on but today I’m going to talk about what’s been on my mind and that’s BRANDING MYSELF!!!
For those who aren’t aware I’ve always been into my writing and blogging but this year I started to take myself seriously and that meant focusing more on my craft. Funny thing is that was my resolution (well part of it) for 2017. I began writing poems, affirmations, story-like quotes and working on my novels. I started to think to myself, “okay you’re writing and broadcasting your work on Instagram but what are you going to do with it?” That’s when it hit me, I began compiling my poems in a word document and when I seen it was over a hundred pages worth I decided to reach out to a fellow writer and entrepreneur. Long story short, I wanted to know if her publishing company ever thought of publishing a poetry book, the answer was yes but nothing worth putting out. I sent her what I put together and she loved it. From there we started working. It fills me with joy being able to say, “My poetry book “The Diary of She” will be releasing on Valentine’s Day 2018″ and that’s because I decided to jump out of my comfort zone.
Okay ladies, enough of that dicks are gross and I’d never put one of those near me until I’m married talk. We are not going to pretend we don’t sit around in group like settings with our girl friends and our favorite gay guy friend discussing the length and width of what men have in their pants. The conclusion is always the same; we don’t want to deal with the guy we tell to, “go deeper” only to realize he doesn’t have enough to go as deep as we’d like. BUT we also don’t want to deal with the guy who is extremely hung and making sex feel like we are fighting to stay alive.
Now to get my thoughts about size out there right away because I know there are some men that peak on my blog who are dying to know (yes, y’all are nosey as hell), NO size does not matter but I do prefer certain sizes over others, especially depending on the act that is being partaken in. Either way I’ve come across all sizes; Some that were extremely too big and I had to always ease my way into the act so I didn’t feel like I was suffering instead of being pleased and others where I thought I’m not putting that little ole thing near my mouth but we can still get it popping in this bed. Intercourse with guys that are a bit below average can still be enjoyable and please don’t try to tell me it can’t be. If you can get one-off with that little vibrator you own then you can certainly catch more than a few orgasms with the guy who isn’t up to your dick standards. After all it’s about the motion in the ocean and guys with huge dick don’t always know what they are doing. It’s like he has all that dick and no clue how it works. IT’S A WASTE!!! A waste of his time and my time and if he’s not willing to work on his stroke game I don’t need it.
Before we get into those juicy stories I like to tell let me school you a bit.
Ladies ladies ladies… I know that sometimes we are so desperate to meet “the one” that we mind fuck ourselves into thinking any guy that comes into our lives with a few nice gestures is the one. First off ladies, most men are doing one of the two:
Being gentleman enough to the point he gets you to say yes to giving him your number so he can take you out
Being gentleman enough to get you out in order to eventually get you into bed.
The first motive is usually a good one. He wants to take you out, meaning he wants to get to know you more. It doesn’t have to be right away of course but eventually that is the goal. He’ll spend time getting to know you, hopefully via voice calls and not text. I find that you get to really know a person by talking on the phone. Text tends to get misread and assumptions are made. Now once he feels like you’re comfortable enough the two of you may finally plan that date night. Onto the second motive: he’s only being gentleman like because he wants to have sex with you. It’s the sad truth. Guys will only be nice enough to get you in bed and then they let their true colors fly. Now this can happen in a short amount of time or he’s the guy that doesn’t mind the long ride. Once you do give it up you’re stuck wondering why he’s no longer the guy you first met.
Here I go again going onto a whole new subject. Just like a woman to get sidetracked with the million other thoughts going on in my head. So back to it; thinking he’s the one isn’t going to make him the one. To be honest it’s really not up to us to decide if he’s the one. Sure there are signs that can let us know if he may or may not be the one but as women we have to remember that if he doesn’t feel the same way about you it’s not on you to say, “but you’re the one for me.” Sorry sweetie but it doesn’t work that way, it takes two.