The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time
Polyamory n :
is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time.
Before getting into this I thought it was important to share a few definitions explaining polygamy but I believe it is also important to share the difference between being in a open relationship. When looking at the two they are similar when it comes to multiple parties being involved. With open relationships it is agreed that it is okay to take on new partners outside of the relationship but you do not have to speak to, see, or be committed to that other relationship in anyway. It’s basically living two separate lives but in this case you are in the know. As with a polyamorous relationship those involved are all committed, in most cases a man and two women.
Almost two years ago I started on my journey towards losing weight. Most of my life I was tiny, no more than 110 lbs. Looking back on those pictures I told myself I never want to be that small again. It didn’t look good on me. It wasn’t until I turned 22 when I started gaining all my weight. I liked to think of it as my happy weight. I was in a good relationship, eating good and smoking a lot, which meant a lot of milk and cookies. The weight I was gaining I didn’t even notice. At that point in life I was confident with the way I looked. It didn’t bother me that my clothes were getting too small and my face was getting chunky. I felt beautiful probably the most I had ever felt.
I’d say it was a year after having my son, a month after his 1st birthday exactly that I started feeling a certain way about how I looked. I had been working at Google for a few months and with all the free food they were providing I started gaining all the baby weight back plus more. I was feeling uncomfortable in my own body so I reached out to a health coach to help me lose the weight. For awhile it was working. I was feeling good about myself and I lost a good amount of weight, 22 lbs, using Herbalife.
Love has been everything to me growing up. I’ve always been in love with love. It has been something I’ve always wanted and believed I would have by 27, which I’ll be in May, and married with more kids by 30. When I think of love I always had this fairytale picture painted in my head and it has not been what I thought it would be.
The love I’ve had in my life has been somewhat a dysfunctional kind. You know the love that you start off thinking is going to be forever but then true colors start to show. In fact it’s not love at all, it’s lust and that’s why in the beginning everything seems to be picture perfect. Suddenly the love you thought you had begins to mistreat you, use you, manipulate you, disrespect you and slowly break you down. It’s nothing like what you’ve imagined it to be. It’s not as beautiful as you thought it would be but instead it was painful and took awhile to pick up the pieces that were shattered and go on with life. I came across a few people I thought had the potential to love until they also betrayed me in ways they said they wouldn’t. Yet I still believed there was a love out there made for me and only me.
There’s been more than a few times in my life that the thought of being celibate came to mind.
Have I actually followed through with it? No, because part of me knew that I couldn’t commit. It’s one thing to just not have sex because you’ve been busy with life and the thought doesn’t really come to you but It’s another thing to tell yourself you aren’t going to have sex at all until you find the one you are going to spend your life with. The thought of actually being able to hold off until marriage sounds like a beautiful idea but then you have to stop and think about the temptations that you’ll eventually come across. So then it came to my mind that maybe I’ll practice abstinence, taking things a day at a time.
So what is the difference between abstinence and celibacy?
Okay so maybe I need to download Tinder and swipe right when I get bored because I need to get into the dating scene. My match might be out there lol but hearing about ole boy trying to share germs within the first 20 mins I’m like naw I’m cool. I don’t need you taking my drink asking for a sip and I don’t even know you. She said she had fun but still lol. I guess it’s no different from dating guys off of IG, Twitter or Snap but just the idea of going on a dating app would be weird and a little creepy. I heard all the black men on Tinder have cats too lol. I don’t need that and I don’t need anyone trying to hit me up just trying to get some either.
I’m not going to go in on this much because you can get it from the Podcast but I loved hearing that a guy weighed in on the topic of having an orgasm. He said just because men cum it doesn’t mean he necessarily enjoyed the act. That lets us know that just like women we will have sex with someone and not enjoy it and not say anything about it. Most cases women will continue to go back but guys will hit it once and after that first time not being pleased he won’t try again. I also agree with them when they say we have to stop feeding these guys egos. If we faking he’s over there thinking he is putting in work and now his head is getting all big. Meanwhile the whole time he wack as hell and not getting any better. Ladies it’s our fault, we gotta stop these fake ass moans, oooos and aaahhhhhs lol.
Relationships, any kind of relationship (friendships, lovers, friends with benefits, boyfriend/girlfriends) can become addictive. That person or the feeling you get when you are with that person is addictive; they become our drug and we are left feening for more.
Just like a drug the high we get is only temporary but we continue to go back because in that moment we feel like anything is possible; all the worries in the world are gone and you believe you can do anything. There’s this sense of power that you have when you get this feeling and you start to believe they are the reason for it. But when that high went away you suddenly felt like shit and you realized they didn’t only make you feel good but they also made you feel like you were nothing. That’s when you tell yourself it’s time to give that drug up and cleanse your mind and body.
Once you start its hard to stop. That bed isn’t yours anymore; it is your child’s and he/she is going to let you know. I remember thinking it was so awesome and cute to share a bed with my son and now I wish he would get out and go sleep in his own. If I say go get in the bed he automatically picks mine… So I thought this was a cute yet accurate video for the single parents that deal with these things:
- Cover snatching
- Feet in face/ Wild Sleeping Positions
- Jumping on the bed – It kills me when Evan does it I just want to pick him up and toss him off the bed..
- Being covered in Stuffed Animals – this has happened to me a few times. I woke up like WTF? When did this happen
- Waking up asking for food or juice
EVERY PARENT KNOWS THIS IS LIFE…. BUT ITS A GREAT ONE