Love is real but don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times I doubt it. I doubt that there’s still men out there that treat their women like Queens and want to make sure their families are safe and provided for. I doubt that courting still exist cause we as women are so quick to jump for a man who sends smiley faces and heart eyes through text messages instead of calling us on the phone; taking the time out to get to know who we are. A good morning text, a trip to the movies and some fast food seems to count as a date these days and after that first “date” all there is do is “hang” and that consist of Netflix and sex. Eventually the cute text stop and you become a nag just for sending a simple, “What are you doing?” We’ve made it so easy for these guys to think they don’t have to do anything more. Is that all we’re really worth? Because that is how it appears. There are times I doubt that gentlemen still exist. I see guys sitting in the car while their woman is pumping gas and cleaning the windows. Guys don’t open doors anymore instead we do it for ourselves. They don’t call us beautiful or comment on our intelligence. Instead we’re bad bitches and they’d rather us be quiet than to hear anything we have to say. I see guys constantly degrading and disrespecting their women. They cheat on their women then go home and lay with their women. Then you see her posting up pictures on social media pretending to have the perfect relationship. It’s things like this that makes me doubt love is real. But I’m wrong cause there are still good men out there waiting to find the right woman to treat like a queen. I know love is real because my son has shown me that I can love deeper and stronger than I ever thought I could. My son is love and that’s how I know love is real. He is love and I made him out of love. That love may have broken my heart and put doubt in me that I’d find someone to love again but the fact that I’ve felt this way once makes me know I can love again. But this time it’ll be the right person. They say fairytales aren’t real but you’re wrong. I believe in fairytales and although they may not start out perfect there’s still a happy ending. I always say I have my happy (my son) but the ending has yet to come.
I can’t remember the last time I took some time out to just write, not just on here but in my journal, send a friend a letter or even work on my book. Being a mom and then adding a job in the mix I’m now working 24/7 but I love it all; I find it to be a blessing and I only see more coming my way. I’m working for a company called Vaco which has me working at Google/YouTube and I’m loving everything about it. Everyone here is great and the pay is amazing. Way way better than any retail job I’ve ever worked. Evan is in daycare and I’m very pleased with where he is. I’m pretty sure he is getting spoiled over there but as long as he’s happy I am too. As far as my dating life I don’t have one lol. Last time I went on a date was Valentine’s Day but then again I’m pretty tired by time I get in that I just want to stay in the house, catch up on shows I’ve missed and be in my son’s face. I do like someone though (sometimes). He’s pretty fun to be around but I don’t want to catch any hard feelings because reality is this may only be temporary and all. He’s here from out-of-state and will be switching schools in a year. It sucks but if I look on the positive side its shown me that it’s still some nice guys out there. Lately (the pass 2 days) my son’s father has been calling me and I won’t lie it’s stressed me a little because I hate trying to figure out what someone wants. Is he getting out of jail? Is he pissed I filed for full custody? Is he gonna cuss me out or is his head in a good space? I have no clue but I don’t really want to put the money on my phone to find out. I’ll deal with everything when the time comes. But that’s really all that’s been going on in my life lately; working and being the best mother I know how to be.
I start working on Tuesday for Google Play. The gig is temporary but I believe it’s a good look for my resume and I get to experience working outside of retail. Oh and who knows Vaco may be able to find me another gig whenever this one ends. Anyway I’ve been off almost a year since having my son and I enjoyed every bit of it. After he was born I was in no kind of rush to get back to work because I wanted to bond as much as I could with him. Now our time is being cut short which makes me super sad. It’s not like I’ll be working a part-time job. This is a full on 40 hour 5 days a week job so when I see him it’ll be at night. I guess it’ll be good for him to get around some other kids but it terrifies me sending him to child care. No one can take care of him the way I do. Luckily for the first 3 weeks he’ll be with family. Being away is going to make me really cherish the time I do get to spend with him. I’m lucky I got to spend 8 months with him though. Some parents immediately go back to work after having their baby and at times there ends up being no bond there. I took my son to visit a child care that we both liked and many of the kids have been there since being newborns. The provider said those kids think of it as their home since they are always there. I also see why other parents decide to be stay home moms/work from home. Unfortunately I don’t have that option. Being a single mom I have to go out there and work so my son has what he needs. I’m always going to make sure he is protected and provided for. Long story short…. I’m excited for work but sad I won’t be with my baby all day.
My heartbeat, air, love, my world….. My son. I look at you and everything surrounding me disappears because all I see and hear is you. It’s as if the whole world stops and in that moment nothing else matters. I never knew a love so sweet and it’ll take years for you to understand the unconditionally love I have for you.
I look at my son and I could never understand how someone can simply walk out of their children’s lives and treat them so badly. leaving him for just a few hours hurts my heart. The whole time away all I can think about is what he’s doing; has he ate, is he crying, maybe he’s playing or is he sleep. I look at my phone just to see his face wherever I go.
I want him to grow up and know that he is loved and whatever he needs or wants to talk about I’m here for him. I’ll teach him right from wrong. Remind him to always respect his elders and women. There’s nothing like a gentleman and I believe my generation needs to teach their children what a gentleman is. Take it back to the days when men cherished and protected their families. I’ll remind him that education is the key and he has to work hard for what he wants; there are no shortcuts but God will help you find your way.
Looking at him just puts so much into perspective. He inspires me. I love him more than anything and it continues to grow.
What is your emotional age? It’s a very valid question, which is the reason I loved this article. You never know your partners age until the two of you get into a disagreement. They can seem mature until you get into a fight and you immediately start to feel like you’re dealing with a child. There’s no calming them down, they talk over you and bring up things that aren’t relevant to the disagreement. It becomes draining. It’s okay to still be a child at heart but there are times you need to be serious and know how to articulate what you’re feeling.
Shared by our awesome Featured Writer, One Gentleman.
Relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are not always easy for the individuals involved. They can appear like rainbows and sunshine one second, and in the next, it seems like the beginning of World War III.
On a personal level, I do not yell, use profanity or say things maliciously, whenever I do not see eye-to-eye with someone.
My parents would often say that I am the quietest of all their children. I believe that character trait blended into other areas of my life.
I also imagine this has something to do with my conversation style today, whenever I become part of a disagreement with my wife and other loved ones.
I am surely not perfect, and I have to say this before the lunatics come out stipulating that I have an ego, based on the information thus far. LoL.
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