Let Silence Be The Answer

We’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” though not many of us have always taken that advice due to the pettiness that lies within our souls. As easy as it seems to just let things go and say nothing at all, it is waaaayyyyy easier said than done. There’s always that part of you that want’s to scream out, “I told you so!”

As an individual I’m still working on how to keep my mouth shut, especially when I know the words that come out of it can make a person feel some type of way. I’ve failed more than a few types but I can admit I’m getting better. Once upon a time I’d say the harshest of things and feel no remorse about. Now I hold it in, work it out with myself and let it go. Even when it comes to giving my opinion or advice I’m starting to realize that sometimes no advice is the best advice you can give to a person.

The Reasons I Say This:

1. There are some people that only want a listening ear. We tend to believe that when people come to us venting about a relationship, work, family etc, they want to hear of ways to fix the situation but they don’t. They just want to know they have a shoulder to lean on and someone to listen. Not an I told you so.

2. Keeping your mouth closed can save a lot of friendships and relationships. We have to learn when and when not to speak, along with saying things in a way that doesn’t come off as judgmental and condescending. I know they say it’s best to keep it real with the ones you love but not everyone can handle the authenticity you bring to the table.

3. Sometimes trying to help others by giving your opinion or advice becomes draining to the person giving it. It comes a time when you have to put yourself first, especially when the person you are always trying to help ignores your advice and then yells at you for trying to help in the first place. It can become a never ending cycle you no longer want to be a part of. It’s best to eliminate yourself from the problem before you say something you regret. Plus there’s no need to waste your time.

4. Lastly, you never want to say anything that can come back on you in a negative way. I believe karma is real and giving someone the same negative energy they give you can be more damaging than you think.

I know that often we want to help another individual, clear our heads, or get something off our chest that’s been weighing us down for years, but is it worth it? If it’s not I say let it go.

Let silence be your answer to whatever is bothering you. Sometimes no words can be heard a million miles away. The message will be heard loud and clear.

Level Up – Read a Book!

It’s sad to say this but since the passing of Nipsey Hussle, I’ve been inspired with wanting to level up and educate myself more on entrepreneurship, financial stability, my history and who I am as a black woman in America. A lot of that involves feeding my brain with the information out there that is provided to us. There are well over 100 million books in the world just waiting for one of us to pick it up, providing us with the information that no teacher ever has. It’s really up to us to take that power, upgrade ourselves and anyone else willing to learn.

Most of the books I’ve read throughout life have been fictional and more on the ghetto or supernatural side but I’ve decided to expand my views a bit more when it comes to reading. Yesterday I asked a few people some of their suggestions and I’ve definitely wrote them down since I can’t order a million books at one. I started with ordering the following:

  • Well-Read Black Girl by Glory Edim
    • Remember that moment when you first encountered a character who seemed to be written just for you? That feeling of belonging remains with readers the rest of their lives—but not everyone regularly sees themselves in the pages of a book. In this timely anthology, Glory Edim brings together original essays by some of our best black women writers to shine a light on how important it is that we all—regardless of gender, race, religion, or ability—have the opportunity to find ourselves in literature
  • The Source of Self-Regard by Toni Morrison
    • The Source of Self-Regard is brimming with all the elegance of mind and style, the literary prowess and moral compass that are Toni Morrison’s inimitable hallmark. It is divided into three parts: the first is introduced by a powerful prayer for the dead of 9/11; the second by a searching meditation on Martin Luther King Jr., and the last by a heart-wrenching eulogy for James Baldwin. In the writings and speeches included here, Morrison takes on contested social issues: the foreigner, female empowerment, the press, money, “black matter(s),” and human rights. She looks at enduring matters of culture: the role of the artist in society, the literary imagination, the Afro-American presence in American literature, and in her Nobel lecture, the power of language itself.
  • A Bound Woman Is a Dangerous Thing by DaMaris B. Hill
    • From Harriet Tubman to Assata Shakur, Ida B. Wells to Sandra Bland and Black Lives Matter, black women freedom fighters have braved violence, scorn, despair, and isolation in order to lodge their protests. In A Bound Woman Is a Dangerous Thing, DaMaris Hill honors their experiences with at times harrowing, at times hopeful responses to her heroes, illustrated with black-and-white photographs throughout.
  • Year of Yes by Shondra Rhimes
    • This poignant, intimate, and hilarious memoir explores Shonda’s life before her Year of Yes—from her nerdy, book-loving childhood creating imaginary friends to her devotion to creating television characters who reflected the world she saw around her (like Cristina Yang, whose ultimate goal wasn’t marriage, and Cyrus Beene, who is a Republican and gay). And it chronicles her life after her Year of Yes had begun—when Shonda forced herself out of the house and onto the stage, appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and giving the Dartmouth Commencement speech; when she learned to say yes to her health, yes to play and she stepped out of the shadows and into the sun; when she learned to explore, empower, applaud, and love her truest self. Yes.

These books are currently on the way thanks to Amazon Prime but what I’m extremely happy about is the post I was tagged in this more, Nipsey’s Book List. It came at just the right time and I can’t wait to add those books to my collection. This man was so damn intelligent, giving, spiritual and had a heart of pure gold. I can’t wait to get into his head a little bit more by reading a few of the books he enjoyed and shared with his family and friends. I will list a few below but you can find the whole list on this account!

NIPSEY’S Book List

  1. Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates
  2. Blood in My Eye – George Jackson
  3. Conscious Capitalism – John Mackey & Rajendra Sisodia
  4. Contagious – Jonah Berger
  5. Creative Collection – Ken Kocienda
  6. Culture Vultures – Kenyatta Griggs & Damon Dash
  7. Fools by Randomness – Nassim Nicholas Taleb
  8. Heal Thy Self – Queen Afua
  9. How to Eat to Live – Elijah Muhammad
  10. I Didn’t Do It For You – Michela Wrong

List some books you think everyone can benefit from reading.

Practicing Letting Go in 2019.

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Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.
 – Daphne Rose Kingma

 

Have you ever been so upset that sometimes the only way to get over it is to destroy what once was, like lighting flame to a picture? Hoping that bringing that moment to ashes will also wipe every memory like you were in a scene of MIB (Men in Black) but nothing happens. I’ve been there! I can remember being only 16-years-old when I had my first break-up. I swore that I’d be healed once I erased every picture of us off of MySpace and ripped up the remaining but I was wrong. Actually, till this day I regret getting rid of those pictures because those were memories and good ones. Taking out my anger on those pictures weren’t going to help me let go.

Practicing Letting Go in 2019.

[Subscribe] Mailing List

It’s been a long time coming but I’ve finally decided to create a mailing list. I’ve been thinking of all the ways I could interact directly with my supporters and build an audience without having to make a million post on Facebook and Instagram. Also those social apps didn’t allow me the space to add all the links to what I have going, such as my merch, YouTube channel, this blog, my books and more.

With that said, please subscribe to my mailing list to stay updated on all things, “The Diary of She.”

SUBSCRIBE TO THE DIARY OF SHE

My Guide for Your 1st Book Signing Event

Over the weekend, 10/20/2018, I had my first official book signing for my books, “The Diary of She” and “The Diary of She – Vol.II” I only had little less than a month to plan and let me tell you, I wanted to call the whole thing off. From finding the perfect kid-friendly venue to making sure I got all my materials on time, I was already stressed/exhausted. BUT through all the wanting to quit I can say I was happy with the final outcome of it all. Not only did my guest have a wonderful time but as busy as I was I did as well.

For those that are looking to have their own book signing I want to give you a little advice.

My Guide for Your 1st Book Signing Event