Tag: friendship

Love & That Other Stuff She Writes

“Let’s Be Friends…Again!” A Novel By Sydney Renee

Out with the old, in with the new…maybe, we should just be friends too. In Let’s Be Friends…Again, relationships are tested, trust is broken, and unlikely bonds are formed.

After a breakup with whom she thought was the love of her life, Rebecca sees that the grass is truly greener on the other side. She found unconditional love with Brandon, has a new office at work, and her bag is constantly growing. But, when Rebecca finds out through the grapevine that Nasir has a baby on the way, she begins to distance herself from Brandon and question herself as a woman.

Meanwhile, ex-boyfriend Nasir Wright learns that money doesn’t always bring you happiness. Finding it hard to let go of Rebecca, home-life is slowly crumbling, and his relationship is on a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions. Ashley begins to wonder if she made a mistake by inserting herself back into his life, as there’s a new problem with them almost every other day.

Will Rebecca and friends be able to deal with the issues from the past creeping back into their lives, or will it send them all in opposite directions?

Pre-order Kindle Edition Today! Available 12.18.20

To find out to how Rebecca and Friends got to where they were click the link to read the first part of “Let’s Be Friends.”

“Rebecca is a beautiful black woman thriving in the world of publishing and YouTube. She thinks she’s found the man of her dreams, Nasir, a successful owner of a real estate firm, until the unthinkable happens. Now, Rebecca is left wondering how her world was turned upside down in less than 24-hours. Not only did she lose the man of her dreams, but she may have lost him to the first woman he ever loved.

Find out what happens when one betrayal decides to come to light; Friendships will be tested, true colors will be revealed, and the least likely bonds will be made all due to one text.”

Life Happens

Coping With Breaking Up With A Friend

They say breakups are hard but I say breaking up with a friend is way worse. Getting over a guy or girl is easy, especially when you have your best friend by your side to vent to and keep you feeling like you’re dope as hell and anyone would be a fool to let you go. You laugh with them, cry with them, fight with them, but at the end of it all you know you have someone that is always down to ride. So what happens when that friendship starts to fade and you no longer find comfort in that person?

Losing a friend is painful because it’s something you never really see coming; a storm that literally comes out of nowhere. One minute everything is beautiful and there are no signs of a disaster waiting to happen. You go from spending almost every day talking to each other and planning outings, to a phone call every other month. It’s clear that things are changing but no one every really expresses what they’re truly feeling or the reason for the distance.

I get it, it’s normal for some friends not to speak or see each other all the time. We all have lives outside of our friends. We work, take care of someone, dealing with depression and more. With that said sometimes you have to disconnect from everyone for a while.

My closest friend doesn’t even live in the same city as me (sometimes not even in the same state) and she hasn’t for a long time, but when she comes in town we see each other. When I need to get away I know I always have a place to go. When we need to vent about life or share good news there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s who I’m calling on. We don’t talk everyday or see each other but despite that there’s no tension between us or underlining issues that neither of us know about. This isn’t the case for every friendship though.

I’ve had a few breakup with people I considered to be my best friend. One guy that I talked about before on here and then there was a woman that I ended up getting really close to and for about 3 years we were pretty inseparable until we got to the point where we wanted to rip each other to pieces and we completely stopped speaking. That friendship ended all due to lack of communication with one another and things were said that couldn’t be taken back. The other part that sucked was our kids could no longer go to each other’s birthday parties and whenever my son asked about her daughter I had to act like she was just too busy to hang out. Now I can’t lie and say I was happy that friendship ended because I thought I genuinely created a bond with someone that would last. Plus, we had hell of a good time together, but we all have to learn when it’s time to just cut ties.

So that brings me to the question, how do you cope with breaking up with a friend? do you just say fuck it and move on or do you go through some 12 step program lol. I usually just try to act like they don’t exist but that hasn’t worked so well for me because now it’s somewhat turned me into a heartless person who never wants to give another human-being the chance to get close to me.

For anyone that has been like me and avoided dealing with losing a friend for whatever reason, here are some ways to cope:

  1. Allow yourself to feel hurt, angry and sad.
  2. If there was never any closure, leave it be.
  3. Don’t overthink. You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out where things went left.
  4. Find someone to talk to: a family member, another friend or even a therapist.
  5. Accept that you may never be friends again
  6. Have self-care days
  7. Don’t be closed off to meeting new friends, but don’t force it.
  8. Lastly, remember that not all friendships are meant to last and that is okay.

Love & That Other Stuff

The Power of A Touch

“I like being touched but like… not too much.”

If you truly know me you’ll know that I’m the most affectionate yet un-affectionate person there is. Weird, I know! But it’s something about a person having there hands on me for too long that puts me in a space, an uncomfortable one, especially if my mood doesn’t call for it. It’s like if I’ve told you to back away from me and you don’t I become irritated no matter how affectionate or friendly I was with you before.

Anyways, I haven’t been in a relationship or remotely close to anyone in a long time, so I’ve become a stranger to the touch of another. Recently I got to experience a little bit of that and now I’m suddenly craving more affection. It got me interested in learning more about the power of touch; how it effects a person?

The first thing we all should know is that touch is the first sense we develop and it’s one of the most powerful forms of communication, along with eye connection. It’s also good for one’s emotional well being. Touch can soothe you, help you heal and strengthen connections. But not every touch is the same; it can be a cold and cause distance between you and another, which may be one of the reason’s I’m not always welcome to touch or people in general. Energy is real and some people don’t give off the most welcome energy. Touch can also be harmful, which is why there are rules when it comes to touch; unspoken. It is always important for us to feel safe.

The Rules:

  • Touch must feel non-sexually harassing – for example a touch to the face from a stranger or coworker can come off very inappropriate and uncomfortable. From an intimate partner is can come off as tender communication but it can also be a way for a partner to take dominance or control over you.
  • A touch to the waist can also be inappropriate so if you don’t know someone it’s best to avoid that area
    • When trying to get someone’s attention a touch on the shoulder is less harassing.

The Powers A Touch Have:

  • Reduces Stress
  • Communicates Compassion Towards Others
  • Brings People Closer: 20 seconds of a hug, hand stroke, etc is enough to release Oxycontin
  • Nurtures Growth & Development in Children
  • Decreases Violent Behavior
  • Creates Trust Between Individuals
  • Improves Intimate Relationships

As much as I try to avoid contact with humans, it’s safe to say that at the end of the day we all need someone, whether it be a friend, lover or just a smile from a stranger walking by. It’s normal to want to guard yourself from the world but there is so much you can gain from the human experience and I will note that it doesn’t have to be an intimate encounter. As long as boundaries are respected and others know what is acceptable the human touch can nourish us spiritually, keep us feeling strong and healthy, and nurture our relationships. Why would we want to rob ourselves of the positive outcomes that come with the human touch?

Life Happens

I Miss My Best-friend (Sometimes).

Some friendships aren’t meant to last… but the memories will live on forever

It’s been 8 months since I’ve seen my best-friend and about 4 years since we’ve had a real honest conversation, well besides the conversation we had 8 months ago, which I feel like he was forced to have. Not because I forced him but because how awkward is it to be in the same room with somebody that you were once so close to and not say anything at all? Extremely! I admit, I was going to be the one that continued to avoid him but he seen me and stopped me. I thought that moment was going to be the rekindling of the friendship we once had but just when I got my hopes up I was let down once again.

… I Miss My Best-friend (Sometimes).

She Writes

Character Intro – Ashley

Meet Ashley… She’s sweet and filled with strength but more broken than anyone can imagine. Determined to work through the cards life dealt her, she decided to let go of her one true love and focus on building herself back up and taking care of her siblings, after a tragedy almost tore them completely apart. Now that life is back in order Ashley is ready to get her first love back no matter the cost, but is he the same man she once knew?

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“Let’s Be Friends” drops this Friday 11/30/18