I’m Not Sure Where I’ll Be Tomorrow

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When I’m asked where do I see myself 5 years from now the inside of me explodes. I get hot, irritated and my nerves are shot. The answer I give is always some speech I’ve had in my head playing on replay in case anyone happens to ask; an interviewer, a potential love interest or a friend. Really, if I blurted out what I really thought, the answer would be I just want to have my shit together, that’s it and that’s all.

I feel like most of us go through life believing that we must have a plan or our life will be a complete failure, but one thing our peers should have taught us are plans do not always pan out the way we want them to. Things change, major events happen, we change our minds and some of us die before we can even reach the 5 year mark.

There are days when I barely know where I want to be in a month or so. The more I focus on having a plan, the more stressed I become and want to give up on it all. If you were to ask me what my 5 year plan was at this very moment and wanted an honest answer out of me, the response would be something like:

Where do I see myself? I honestly don’t know. I hope to have a steady job, with all the benefits I need to keep me healthy and financially stable once I retire. I pray to still have a roof over my head and money piling up in my saving accounts. Maybe I’ll finally be a best selling author if I can release a book that grabs the attention of most of the people in the world. Motherhood I hope becomes easier but in 5 years I’ll be a year away from having a teenager. That’s just another fear I’ll be adding onto the plate of things I’ll be stressed about. In 5 years I think it’ll be something like that, but who honestly knows, you know?

I could write out a plan right now and there’s no telling if I’d actually be able to see it through, nor am I obligated to. A plan may look pretty and make it seem like you have your life together, but I believe that the universe already has our plan written out for us, in pencil, just in case things have to be changed around a bit. It’s the way of life and I honestly don’t need people out there making me feel like It’s required of me to know what my life will look like.

For almost two years now I’ve been working an amazing job, with great benefits and that alone makes people think I’m set financially and have nothing to worry about, but I do. I have bills, I have a kids and in just a few weeks I’m no longer going to have this good paying job or the benefits, because that’s how contracts work. The financial stability I’m used to will no longer be there. I’ve applied for a full-time position along with people I’ve trained and you want to know who got it? Yeah, the people that I had the pleasure of showing the ropes, all three of them. I’ve had a few other interviews and still nothing, and for a black single mom it’s beyond discouraging.

So, when I’m asked where do I see myself in the 5 years or even a year from now, all I can think about is I don’t even know where I’ll be tomorrow.

How To Improve On Your Goals

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Every new year that comes around we find ourselves setting new goals, like hitting the gym, eating healthier, reading more, etc. Those are excellent goals to have but the thing about setting these goals at the beginning of the year is most of those goals aren’t being seen through by the time the 2nd or 3rd month of the year hits. Once that happens we tend to get into the mode of, “I’ll try again next year.” Next year comes and there goes another new goal being added to the list of the previous ones you’ve yet to complete.

I’m one of those people but over the last two years I’ve stopped creating resolutions I knew I wasn’t committed to and started to focus more on the goals that I’ve given myself in the past that were important to me and my future, then making sure I see them through step by step, day by day. Also taking the time to remind myself that it’s okay to fall somewhat behind or take a break as long as I get back to it. The more in depth you become with your goal setting, the better the outcome.

Here are some tips to improve your goal setting and being on the road to success:

1. SET GOALS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU

When setting your goals make sure they are important to you. Write down your reasoning for why you want to achieve that particular goal. If you cannot think of any reasons it’s probably just a random goal you threw out there without having a why? Once you know your why, you’ve found your purpose and that alone will give you the motivation you need.

2. SET GOALS YOU CAN CONTROL

Also known as SMART GOALS

  • Specific – Make sure the goal is well defined
  • Measurable – have a point of reference that can measure your progress to accomplishment
  • Achievable – Don’t set goals for yourself that aren’t attainable
  • Realistic – In your reach, realistic and relevant to your purpose in life
  • Timely – having a defined timeline with a start and end date

 

3. DON’T LET OTHERS DEFINE YOUR GOAL

Set your goals and let them be yours and only yours. Some times we have people in our lives who want to build on the goal we’ve already set for ourselves. They aren’t doing it for negative reasons but most likely because they believe you can exceed the goal(s) you’ve already set for yourself; They see your full potential even when you don’t. In cases like that you can start to fall back on your goals due to the pressure another person put on you. You are no longer motivated because it is no longer the goal you set.

BUT, if you need help with a goal, that is a different story. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need some tips or looking ways to define your goal more.

 

4. TRACK YOUR PROGRESS

Writing down your progress or creating a spreadsheet can be helpful when it comes to seeing where you are with your goals and where you will be.

All that’s left to do is just do it!

 

Still Hustling All 2019…

Happy New Year To All My Readers!!

I know I haven’t posted much but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. So, Let me update you on what’s been up with me and just give you a recap of my 2018 as well as what I have in store for this year.

January 2018: I created an online store (TDOS) thediaryofshe.com to sell merch that promoted my book The Diary of She. To date my best seller’s on there are my The Diary of She Crew neck and hat.

February 2018: The Diary of She was released. This was my first poetry/prose book and I couldn’t have been more on a high about it. I haven’t sold many, maybe 200 but it was nice to know there were people out there supporting me.

May 2018: Went to LA with family to celebrate my cousin graduating from LMU and then a few weeks later went to Atlanta for the first time to celebrate my birthday. Looking forward to going back. When I got back to work I found out I was on a new team and moving to a new office in San Jose in June 2018.

August 2018: Found out that I’d be out of a job at the end of the month, which was absolutely devastating because I knew I’d no longer have a steady income but I was also relieved because I was becoming extremely stressed out.

Still Hustling All 2019…