[BOOK] Coming Valentine’s Day, “The Diary of She” A Poetry Debut

The Diary of She is for the woman who has been shattered to pieces and told she couldn’t be fixed, for the woman who almost gave up on life because she felt like there was no place for her in this world, for the woman who had enough of being treated like she was less than, and for the woman who loved others more than herself. The Diary of She is a collection of poems that represent all the women who have struggled to find themselves. .

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As women, we hold our tongues and suffer in silence because we don’t want to be portrayed in a different kind of light, but there’s no reason to hide our imperfections and censor our words. The Diary of She is a collection of everything women have thought but were too afraid to say. She is you and me. .

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“The Diary of She” by Sydney Renee drops on Valentine’s Day!

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How I Knew My Relationships Were Coming To An End..

As I was driving home from work the other day with my music blasting, a song popped on that made me start thinking of my past relationships. While drifting off in my thoughts I realized I knew when all my relationships were coming to an end, well except my first one. That’s a story that I don’t think has completely come to an end but we will discuss that at a different time. Anyways what I’m getting at is most of the time there are signs letting us know when we shouldn’t be with our partner anymore.

The beginning stages of a new relationship are always the happiest. The two of you are pretty much obsessed with one another; spending hours talking on the phone and if you weren’t talking then you were texting. In the beginning you actually cared how the other was feeling and wanted to spend every moment you had available together.

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Arguments don’t exist and its pure happiness in the honeymoon stage. You already make plans for your future (marriage, houses and kids) before fully knowing one another. The first disagreement comes putting your true feelings to the test. If the way the two of you feel about each other before the argument remains the same, most likely you’ll have a mature conversation and work through the issues. Why throw away something at the first realization that you don’t have the same opinions?

Continue reading “How I Knew My Relationships Were Coming To An End..”

Letting Go of Love

Lately I’ve been having a back and forth battle with my heart and my mind. My mind is telling me to just let this love I have for him go but my heart hopes and prays that everything will be okay because this is the person I love. Having all these feelings are becoming toxic and I just want to let them go but how do I go about that? For the past few weeks I’ve been watching episodes of Iyanla Fix My Life and she said something that related to me and many other women. Us,  women hang on to these toxic relationships because we are holding on to the promise, the promise or many promises these men make. In the back of our minds we still have hope and believe something will change, which explains why it’s hard for us to walk away when those promises are broken. I’m not sure if these steps I found actually work because I have yet to try them for myself but here is what Dr Phil has to say about letting go of love.

Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he’s really meeting your needs. Chances are you’re longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was. Dr. Phil reminds a guest: “There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things. And then you’re back with them for about 10 minutes and you go ‘Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!'” Don’t kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past. 

Don’t wait around because you think he’s going to change. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so the chance that he’s going to ride in on his white horse and do the right thing is pretty slim. Dr. Phil explains, “To the extent that there’s some history, you don’t have to speculate, you just have to measure.”

Don’t put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that’s holding you back from a better future. Dr. Phil tells his guest, “As long you are obsessed on this guy, you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one.” Set some goals and start putting your life back together.

Don’t beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you’ve learned from it, and now it’s time to move forward. Dr. Phil tells his guest, “You’ll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past … Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way.”

Focus on yourself. All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor. Dr. Phil tells a guest who’s had trouble with her father, her brother and two previous husbands: “Unless and until you’ve figured out everything you’ve got to figure out about that and you get closure, you will never come into a relationship with a fresh and clean heart and mind and expectancy and attitude.” You’re probably not ready to get into another relationship until you heal the wounds of your past. 

These are just a few quotes that I decided to post because they are perfect for my situation. Will they help me let go? Who really knows. I have to admit to myself that this isn’t going to work and be ready for a change. When I can do that then maybe these steps can help me move on.

What have you done when it came to getting over an ex and how long did it take you?

Would you take Dr Phil’s advice?

Amber Rose Still Hurting Over Divorce.

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Despite what everyone thinks Amber Rose seems to still be heartbroken over her divorce to rapper Wiz Khalifa, who I’d say isn’t really phased about his divorce from Amber. Lately she’s been hanging out with Nick Simmons and it’s not what we think. The two are just friends and it could be her way of temporally relieving the pain she’s feeling. Today Amber took to her twitter to express the pain she’s been feeling.

The mornings are especially hard.

The pain…I wake up every morning feeling like my best friend died….. I never knew what a true heartache felt like until now.

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Monday, September 22, Amber Rose had officially filed for divorce after a year of marriage claiming irreconcilable differences. It was sad news for the couples fans. I don’t think anyone seen divorce in their future, at least not me. Just a week or so before the divorce Amber was posting pictures saying how in love she was and making twerk videos for her man. Needless to say as soon as the news broke Amber Rose was accused of being a gold digging cheater. People made claims that she was only after Wiz’s money and that she had cheated with Nick Cannon. She quickly went to her twitter to clear up those rumors saying,

Please stop with the fake stories. I would never ever ever cheat on my husband in a million years. I think u guys know this…..Unfortunately my now ex husband can’t say the same…I’m devastated and crushed but my main focus is Sebastian. Thank u for all the support in this difficult time.

The story only got crazier when we found out he not only cheated but with twins, Jas and Ness, two upcoming designers from Sacramento, CA. I know who the girls are by association so seeing the news was a shocker.

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According to Amber Rose’s friend Peter Rosenberg, Amber caught Wiz in the act and that the couple were also having their problems. While hosting Hot 97 he took it upon himself to spill the beans saying,

There’s a complicated situation between Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa. I am very close with Amber and my wife is very close with Amber, great relationship with Amber. I like Wiz, always have and believe Wiz to be a good person, so I just want to be clear about that. Now with that being said, when you’re friends with someone that’s a wonderful person and I say that with knowledge, real intimate knowledge that she is a wonderful person. I’m not suggesting that Wiz Khalifa is lying , because I don’t think he’s honestly the kind of guy that goes calling websites, but I will say that some of these trash-filth websites like Media Takeout that don’t care about anyone’s feelings in life, the scum of the earth are reporting things that are not necessarily true. Not just them, TMZ are reporting things that are not true.

So a few things, number one, this thing that their marriage has been over ….because now it’s been confirmed that Wiz cheated. That’s a known thing and I don’t think anyone is denying that, she caught him cheating, we all know that.

When she was here last week, that’s how I got in trouble because she was here all night talking to my wife about her problems. She was going through it, real talk. With that said, they’re married; they have a child so Amber who is incredibly faithful […] you know this is a woman who is not out trying to be reckless and never was ever, that’s just not who she is. This whole conversation about, ‘Oh, they were broken up a long time ago,’ that’s not true, they had problems a long time ago. I believe from my relationship with Amber she knew they had problems, she knew he wasn’t happy and she wasn’t happy either but she was also like, he’s touring, he’s going through a lot and at some point we’re going to get to work on this again, it’s a marriage.

Laura Stylez cut in and said that she heard that Wiz said he didn’t want to be married anymore and Rosenberg went on to say,

I didn’t hear those words specifically but I’m not even going to lie even about that direction too. I know that he had told her…it sounded to me like, I said to her, ‘I’ll be honest, it sounds like he’s not here anymore (he’s not in the relationship), that’s what it sounds like.’  Now that being said, Amber walked in on him with two women, same time, twins, twin biological sisters. I understand because I’m a man but I wish the twins weren’t busted. They’re pretty busted.

Let me put it this way, if they weren’t twins, no chance Wiz Khalifa hooks up with them, only because they’re two, because guess what two fives equal, a ten. But they’re two fives, let’s be clear about it.

 

The whole story is crazy and I feel like it’s not the end of the story yet. Wiz hasn’t said much.  He’s all smiles and lets face it I’m sure it’s cause he’s high all the time. In no way was he ready for a marriage. Now it’s just seeing who gets full custody of Bash or will the judge grant them joint custody. No matter how beautiful a woman is a man will still be a man.