He’s a disease that won’t stop spreading.
How can I get rid of him?
I swear he’s making me sick.
He’s consuming my every thought.
I feel him beneath my flesh.
He makes my blood boil, but he’s the only one who knows how to cool me down.
His touch is irresistible and his smile hypnotizing.
I forget about my surroundings.
I’d follow his every command and submit to everything that is him.
Every wall that I built came tumbling down.
I was left looking him in the eyes, praying he didn’t ignite the flame in my heart that took years to put out.
As he pierces me with those beautiful eyes, I can feel him eating away at me, breaking me down until finally I say, “Let’s give us another chance.”
He’s toxic, but I’m addicted to the feeling.
A while back I remember reading an article about only really falling for three people in our lifetime. It stuck with me so of course I had to scroll down my timeline on Facebook to find it again. The article can be found on Elephant Journal. According to this article each love comes into our lives for a different reason:
Our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children.
The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.
The third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.
… I’m Still Stuck on My First…