Am I Really That Crap Of A Mom

Have you ever had a moment where you’ve come to realize that you just may be the most god-awful person in the world? Like everyone around you would probably be better off if you ducked off to some private island or a secluded house into the woods? I have this feeling more than I’d like to admit and I just ask myself, what did I do to deserve to feel this way, especially from a little kid; the life I created?

Sometimes I just feel like a crap of a mom, who doesn’t deserve to bring another life into the world, which I probably won’t. As a grown woman I know it’s normal for younger children to have their outburst and turn you into the villain from their favorite show or movie because you’ve told them to:

STOP MAKING ALL THAT DAMN NOISE

GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!

IT’S TIME TO TAKE A SHOWER.

NO MORE SNACKS

BRUSH YOUR TEETH

IT’S TIME TO GO TO BED!

But the responses you receive and the actions they take to prove how upset you’ve made them is like a bullet to the heart. I’ve heard the words, I hate you, I want a new mom, I want to live with (insert name(s) here) but not you, among other things you really don’t want to hear from your little one. You know they don’t mean it and they would have a heart-attack if you really sent them off to a new mom or family, but the thought lingers in the back of your mind of whether or not you’re truly deserving of your own kid.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant I’ve always worried about if I was going to be a good mom and I wonder if my kid will grow up hating my guts or be appreciative of all I’ve done and taught him. He’s still young but it’s hard not to wonder if you are making them happy. My son loves to be under me, play games with me and he always wants to cuddle, but sometimes he has moments where I feel like he just doesn’t like me. They say it’s a phase that’s pretty much like puberty but the shit sucks and I know I still have years of him having his moments of hating me because I didn’t get himself, let him do something, or told him right from wrong, which he probably won’t realize I was right and only looking out for his best interest until he’s an adult.

That also means I’m still going to have moment’s of feeling like a crappy mom but that’s alright. I’m pretty sure it won’t always be that way. Part of being a human being is feeling both emotions of love and hate. We feel it as adults so it’s only normal for our children to feel the same. All we can do it continue to teach them about how to be respectful and how to spread more love than ill feelings towards others. It’s going to be a test but I think we’ll pass it in the end.

Moms, It’s Time To Start Making Time For Self

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Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Friday I decided to have some time to myself (with the company of my cousin). I headed to Chevy’s, ate some chips and salsa, devoured some hot wings, and had a few drinks while talking for hours. It was just the Friday night I needed and one I hadn’t had for quiet some time. It was honestly a night I didn’t know I needed until I walked out the door and a sense of relief came over me. I was finally getting away from the kids and this time I didn’t feel bad about it.

When it comes to being a full-time mother it’s rare that we get time to be to ourselves, especially if you also work full-time. We get into the routine of waking up, packing lunches, getting the kids dressed and off to school. Then comes the full day at work that doesn’t always go as planned and can drain the life out of you before you get back to the kids school for pick up. Once you pick them up now you have to make snacks, do homework, make dinner and go through a whole bedtime routine. How does the world expect us mother’s not to be physically/mentally drained?

Due to the judgement of others, a lot of mother’s don’t express the amount of exhaustion they feel or how they need or want a break from being a mom for just a day—hell, even a few hours. We get told not to complain because, “it’s your job,” and “that’s what you’re supposed to do.” As a mother we already know it’s our jobs to make sure our children are well taken care of, happy and healthy but we also can’t put our self-care to the side because eventually we will break and mom’s, you do not want that to happen.

It’s time to start making time for yourselves moms and below is a list of how you can do it!

TAKE YOURSELF TO A MOVIE

I’m sure there may be a list of movies you’ve been dying to see but haven’t quite had the time. Plan a day away from the kids and go see one of them. This will give you at least 2 hours away from the clutter and screaming children.

GO OUT TO EAT

Plan a lunch/dinner date with a few girlfriends or family you haven’t seen in awhile. Treat yourself to a drink while at it. You deserve it!

EXERCISE

Go for a nice walk, a hike, do some yoga or take a boxing class. Some fresh air and a nice sweat is just the break you may need. This will give you time to clear your mind, relieve stress and get healthy during the process.

TAKE TIME TO RELAX

After a long day of mommy duties run a warm bath & maybe even light a candle. You’ll be sure to get a good night’s sleep.

POWER NAP

It’ll be the best nap you’ve every had and is sure to keep you going throughout the day. Sometimes we think we need those long hour naps to re-energize but some times those are the same naps that keep us feeling sluggish throughout the day,

Whatever you do, make sure to always make time for YOU!