I lay in bed all day.
I don’t want it to be any other way.
I keep my phone on vibrate.
Remove it from my space.
High-key miserable as fuck.
I’m lost as fuck.
Feeling some kind of way.
Living life in sweatpants and hoodies.
Just here wasting away.
Reneé, Sydney. Her Final Entries: A Collection of Poems and Affirmations
I did it again! But this time with a new self published poetry collection.
For about 3 years now I debated back and forth if I should release a new poetry book and if I should take the route of publishing it on my own. It took some time getting the format down and sending myself a ton of proofs to see if anything was messed up. I’m positive I still have some things to learn, but I set a date of Valentine’s Day, as this is the anniversary of my first published poetry book The Diary of She and I was going to stick to that date, which I did.
So here you go!
Her Final Entries: A collection of poems and affirmations
Before you go let me leave you all with a Intro.
Dear Diary
I finally decided to unwrap you.
You might have been the best gift I’ve received.
You’ve always gave me the freedom to say what I need.
There’s been so much going on & it’s hard trying to adapt.
My career, motherhood and everybody’s crap.
I’m less bothered, though times I still want to snap.
That’s why I got this new journal & I hope for it to be my last.
The last time I write about the hurt I’ve felt
or how I long to feel the touch of a man.
The last time I vent about consistently being misled or questioning where my life will end.
I’ll give you a bit of my pain.
Show you a little drama, but I’ll continue to uplift, just as I do myself.
Remind you that you’re important and to keep loving yourself.
Welcome to my final entries!
He crept into my dreams and kissed me like no one ever had.
The moment was engraved in my mind,
and he was who I wanted to see every night when I closed my eyes.
I craved his lips, wishing they were pressed against mine.
Thoughts of him would remain until he walked out of my dreams and into my life.
How can you look me in the eyes and say I’ve never been there for you? Looking back at you, I can see our whole journey playing on a loop.
Who was there giving you a shoulder to cry on when the world made you feel like you had to walk around in permanent armor?
The world made you feel like you had to remain hard in order to receive respect, but I assured you your emotions only added to the strength you possessed, and if you felt the need to hide from the world, you didn’t have to hide yourself from me.
You let your emotions flow like a river, and I was there to float freely with you.
My dear, please, don’t act like I wasn’t there helping you, building you up when you were at your lowest with no one around to lift your spirits to heights higher than the highest.
Treating you like the light that guided my way through the darkness you were living in when I was really your sun in the night sky keeping a glow on your face.
Helping you evolve into the man she sees standing before her, a man who found his way when he got lost in the wind and led into a direction that only read destruction ahead.
I traveled long and far to bring you back from the depths of hell only for you to up and leave me to fight the demons of your world alone.
