Confession: I’m a cat in every way possible, meaning if I’ve ever told you, “yeah, we’ll hang out soon,” or “see you soon.” Yeeeaaaahhhhh… you’re not going to see me soon because I’m horrible at putting any time aside, even if I like you or you’re the closest person I have in my life. I don’t know what it is but I just can’t bring myself to stick to the “plan.”
It’s like trying to give a cat a bath. It’s going to go one of two ways:
I’ll give in and go out my way to make the time for you even though I don’t really have to but at this point you’ve got me out my comfort zone, been patiently waiting and I miss you more than I miss being lazy so I’m all for it 🙂
You’re going to ask to see me over and over again until I finally flip the fuck out and find every reason to get the fuck out of this unwanted invitation to chill. ESCAPE PLAN IN FULL EFFECT!
Ladies ladies ladies… I know that sometimes we are so desperate to meet “the one” that we mind fuck ourselves into thinking any guy that comes into our lives with a few nice gestures is the one. First off ladies, most men are doing one of the two:
Being gentleman enough to the point he gets you to say yes to giving him your number so he can take you out
Being gentleman enough to get you out in order to eventually get you into bed.
The first motive is usually a good one. He wants to take you out, meaning he wants to get to know you more. It doesn’t have to be right away of course but eventually that is the goal. He’ll spend time getting to know you, hopefully via voice calls and not text. I find that you get to really know a person by talking on the phone. Text tends to get misread and assumptions are made. Now once he feels like you’re comfortable enough the two of you may finally plan that date night. Onto the second motive: he’s only being gentleman like because he wants to have sex with you. It’s the sad truth. Guys will only be nice enough to get you in bed and then they let their true colors fly. Now this can happen in a short amount of time or he’s the guy that doesn’t mind the long ride. Once you do give it up you’re stuck wondering why he’s no longer the guy you first met.
Here I go again going onto a whole new subject. Just like a woman to get sidetracked with the million other thoughts going on in my head. So back to it; thinking he’s the one isn’t going to make him the one. To be honest it’s really not up to us to decide if he’s the one. Sure there are signs that can let us know if he may or may not be the one but as women we have to remember that if he doesn’t feel the same way about you it’s not on you to say, “but you’re the one for me.” Sorry sweetie but it doesn’t work that way, it takes two.
“A relationship built solely on sex is hardly a relationship at all…”
I’m not an expert when it comes to getting and keeping a relationship, as my ass has been single for what seems like forever, but I have had a share of my own relationships, some of which were based solely on sex. Can I even call this a relationship at all? Do these kind of relationships last once you remove the sex? I’m stuck between yes and no but I’m definitely leaning towards, “FUCK NO that shit doesn’t work out.”
I can remember getting into two different relationships (different times of course) and thinking back I can’t think of anything I had in common with either of these guys besides the fact that we enjoyed fucking each other, oh and they made me laugh. Gotta be able to make me laugh or we won’t be getting anywhere what so ever and YES, I said fucking. You can’t make love when you haven’t learned enough about each other outside of the bedroom to actually fall in love. Seriously, these relationships were, “hey how are you, lets eat (some days), okay now let’s get it on wherever we can” kind of thing going on. I was still pretty young at the time so during those time periods it didn’t hit me that I was in a sexship, as my friend called it. I figured because we had made it clear we were together and that we couldn’t stay away from each other that we were in a real relationship. It took me getting into a serious ass, “we living” together relationship to realize it’s so much more to being with someone.
To me kissing is one of the most intimate acts shared between two people. To be honest I find it more intimate than the act of having sex. This may not be the case for everyone but a person can have sex with you and never once will you two share a kiss and I say it’s because they aren’t as into as you may have thought. They simply had a goal of getting you in bed and it was accomplished but that’s not what we are talking about today. For two people to lock lips there had to have been some kind of chemistry there and if not chemistry definitely curiosity. I’m guilty of kissing a guy out of curiosity and then wishing I hadn’t after. It just confirmed what I had already known, I just wasn’t that into you outside of the friend zone.
Have you ever found yourself walking down the hall and you almost bump into a coworker or notice someone you’ve never paid attention to before? Or have you ran into someone in the break room and you start feeling butterflies? Suddenly you look up and see this beautiful person in front of you. From that moment you find yourself attracted and wanting to learn more about who they are as a person but there’s that part of you that’s saying don’t mix your professional and personal life. Yet you find yourself flirting every now and then or find yourself looking a little too long and immediately having to look away when you see them coming your way. There are days you don’t know if you should speak or stay hidden away in your corner of the office. It’s actually kind of torturous.
Anyways this is currently happening to me. I’ve found myself attracted to someone who works in the same building as me. I’ve noticed him for months ever since I almost walked right into him. Besides the fact that he is handsome and funny (I got some courage to speak to him), every time I look his way something in me goes, “I want to learn all about that man.” Now, I’m telling myself I have no intentions of crossing any boundaries but wouldn’t I be if I acted on thoughts of wanting to get to know him outside of the office? Not anything sexual but just wanting to catch a show, go for a walk and build a friendship outside of work. Who knows he may not even want to get to know me in that way so why say anything at all right? Or what happens if a friendship turns into something romantic. Then you have to worry about mixing love and work; the consequences that could possibly come with it.
This conflict I’ve been having with myself got me thinking about workplace romance and that’s where this piece comes into place…
The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time
Polyamory n :
is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time.
Before getting into this I thought it was important to share a few definitions explaining polygamy but I believe it is also important to share the difference between being in a open relationship. When looking at the two they are similar when it comes to multiple parties being involved. With open relationships it is agreed that it is okay to take on new partners outside of the relationship but you do not have to speak to, see, or be committed to that other relationship in anyway. It’s basically living two separate lives but in this case you are in the know. As with a polyamorous relationship those involved are all committed, in most cases a man and two women.
Infidelity has become something that is so common you start to wonder if it is possible for someone to remain faithful. We are automatically jumping into relationships thinking about the what ifs… What if he/she cheats? Will I leave or will I stay? Will I confront the other party involved? Before giving the relationship a fair chance we begin to manifest the negative thoughts we are having.
The biggest problem I have when it comes to cheating is that we always tend to blame the other woman and are quick to forgive the man. Now you notice when I woman cheats men don’t go blaming the other guy, full responsibility for the act is put on the woman. Men will walk away and never look back no matter how much a woman begs and pleads for him to stay. So why is it that women don’t do the same? Why do we cling onto a man who can’t keep his dick in his pants? Why do we bash the other woman and wish bad onto her?