Intuition or Insecurity?

Photo by Rafael Barros on Pexels.com

Ladies, sometimes we find ourselves locked in a battle between insecurity and intuition; wondering if what you are feeling is your gut telling you something isn’t right or you just aren’t feeling great about yourself. Do you know the difference when you find yourself in a battle between the two?

I have learned to understand my feelings so that I can differentiate the two and deal with them accordingly, especially when it comes to relationships. Sometimes, depending on the events that have transpired, it gives way to insecurities for the remainder of the relationship and can even carry over into another. If you are able to recognize why you feel a certain way then you can get it in check and your emotional self will thank you for it later.

Tip: Intuition comes from a place of loving oneself. You won’t feel fearful or self-judgement but you trust in what you feel. As with insecurity it is a feelings or words that have been programmed into your brain to make you feel you aren’t worthy. – Sydney R

Let me share a short story with you and then maybe you’ll understand what I mean.
In a previous relationship of mine, it was our anniversary date and I wanted it to be special. Things had been rocky but I still wanted to honor our anniversary because it was a milestone, for me anyway. Nevertheless, I think my mate didn’t care or simply forgot. I had a little time on my hands and decided to surprise him at his job and take him to our favorite eating spot. As I was on my way there, something (my intuition) was telling me he wasn’t there but I knew he was supposed to be. I proceeded to go anyway. I pulled up to the building and didn’t see the car so I circled to the back lot, it wasn’t there either. So, I called and asked was he still at work and he said yes, but was about to leave. I felt sick. I knew he’d lied before about stuff but not like this. I let him know that I was at his job and didn’t see his car. So again, I asked where he was. He said, “Oh yeah, I forgot we went over to Applebee’s” which was in the area. I asked why he lied, but no response.

This is a case of intuition. Mines told me he wasn’t there but I ignored it and after that incident I never asked where he was going or what he was doing because I refused to let that relationship and that incident build insecurity within me. Now another ex did the same and got caught cheating, just because I was out running an errand. I’ve learned that when I’m dealing with an insecurity it makes me mad, but my intuition becomes nagging and at times can make me feel uncomfortable, but I know this is just my inner self telling or warning me of something I can’t see at that moment.

Below, our creator Sydney has a few ways you can differentiate insecurity and intuition, as she’s had her fair share of both when being in relationships:

Signs of Insecurity

  • Becomes panicked easily
  • Has issues with trusting
  • struggles with intimacy or is overly sexual
  • Is easily offended
  • Always looking for acceptance from overs
  • Doesn’t accept themselves (body negativity)

Intuition Is On Point If

  • You have vivid dreams
  • Every noticed you keep catching the same time on a clock
  • You can pick up on other’s emotions
  • You are self-aware.
  • You notice the smallest things and are aware of your surroundings.


Now, in situations you could be feeling one, the other or both but to resolve the issues it’s best to know what you are feeling. Though intuition is something we all have, at some point in life we also experience being insecure. It’s normal and apart of life, but you don’t have to let it ruin you or a relationship. Intuition can be a wonderful thing to have but it can also lead to insecurities when they turn out to be right. Don’t let these insecurities build up in you just because another person couldn’t uphold your standards. As women we need to listen to what our bodies and minds are telling us, even if it has the potential to cut us deep. Ignoring your intuition can eat at you until you break and this is something we don’t want to happen.

Opinions, Advice and Approval Ratings? For Me? Girl Bye!

How much does the opinions and approvals of someone else really matter to you…? If you had to think about it, you should definitely read this.

What is approval anyway? Why does everyone have an opinion of something when it comes to me? So what someone says, I don’t like how you’re rocking that dress, you should wear heels with it and not sneakers. Whatever!

Here’s 6 reasons why someone else’s approval and opinions of me don’t matter!

  1. They do not have to walk in my shoes. People are always going to have an opinion about something you say, do or what have you, but at the end of the day, it’s your life that you have to live and not theirs. Period.
  2. No one can really say what they would do IF they were me. Reality is, they’re not me.
  3. They wouldn’t do what they’re telling me to do. Many times people give advice to others but wouldn’t do the same if it were them, as a matter of fact, they wouldn’t even be open to opinions of others. It’s easier to tell someone else to do something than to actually do it themselves. Why? Because they know they wouldn’t really take those kind of chances. For instance a husband cheated on his wife and all her girlfriends are like “Girl you crazy, I wouldn’t put up with that” “You need to leave his a$$” “It wouldn’t be me”
    Truth is, these women wouldn’t really leave their mates and they have probably done worse. Best thing is, keep your business to yourself as far as friends and family go because they’re gonna always have the best solution for you and your situation.
  4. Deep down we know what we want or need to do so do it! Go with your gut (or intuition) ladies. I know for me, almost every time I go against it, it doesn’t work out for me. So listen to your intuition, that’s why we have it!
  5. Those “friends” giving me an approval when their stuff probably raggedy itself. This one you have to be careful of. Sometimes other people are so miserable about their own lives that they want others to be the same so they give you bad advice on purpose or they say they don’t like something because they can’t have it too. And yes, ladies, some of them “so called” girlfriends are undercover jealous of you. So because of that, be mindful of who you speak to. Everyone doesn’t want to see you succeed, be happy or loved.
  6. Too many opinions will have me confused. Confusion leads to making wrong choices. I’m just saying.

So no matter what, someone in our lives is always going to have an opinion about something; from the style of your hair to the choice in a mate. It’s up to you how much you allow the approval, perspectives, and opinions of others to affect your life. You know who you are, what you like, what you want and what you need, don’t let others decide that for you.

When you love you, you don’t need the approval of others.

Sometimes we get lost in a society of what’s acceptable or normal and that’s what it suppose to be, right?! Not hardly. Nothing wrong with being different and being yourself. When you love you and you know who you are, then that’s what it is.

Happy Healthy Living,

Bee Macson

Operation…CLOSED LEGS

I’m over it! SEX… I’m just completely over it.

giphy

Like men, women get bored too and to fill that void we occasionally use sex. It feels good (for the most part) and it’s a quick release. Let’s face it, sex takes the stress away and it can be pretty damn fun depending on who you’re vibing with.  I’m 110% guilty. I find myself feeling lonely with nothing to do and it makes it easy to turn to sex for a little excitement. The bad part about it is in order to get the sex I start to rekindle old relationships with people I stopped dealing with for obvious reasons but because I loved what they had to offer in that particular area I always found my way back. I also knew if I called they weren’t going to deny me. Not to toot my own horn but *beep beep* I got that bomb that keeps the boys coming back. Anyways they may have been jerks but I knew the sex was going to be amazing. My logic was why go out and find someone new who may have the potential to disappoint me in the bedroom when I can just go for what I know?

Operation…CLOSED LEGS

Diary of A Single Mom: Over Love

 

download-1

Love has been everything to me growing up. I’ve always been in love with love. It has been something I’ve always wanted and believed I would have by 27, which I’ll be in May, and married with more kids by 30. When I think of love I always had this fairytale picture painted in my head and it has not been what I thought it would be.

The love I’ve had in my life has been somewhat a dysfunctional kind. You know the love that you start off thinking is going to be forever but then true colors start to show. In fact it’s not love at all, it’s lust and that’s why in the beginning everything seems to be picture perfect. Suddenly the love you thought you had begins to mistreat you, use you, manipulate you, disrespect you and slowly break you down. It’s nothing like what you’ve imagined it to be. It’s not as beautiful as you thought it would be but instead it was painful and took awhile to pick up the pieces that were shattered and go on with life. I came across a few people I thought had the potential to love until they also betrayed me in ways they said they wouldn’t. Yet I still believed there was a love out there made for me and only me.

Diary of A Single Mom: Over Love

Cut Him Off Before It’s Too Late…

Please don’t let this be you ladies; wasting 9 years on a guy who can’t commit. Whole time you’ve been thinking you’re in a relationship when really it’s a situationship. Now the both of you are standing there with a dumb ass look on your face; confused as hell. He’s wondering why you think you’re his woman and you’re mad as fuck wondering why he thinks you’re not. Jokes on you girl. Should have seen the signs and cut him off a long time ago. So now this man has you stuck contemplating if you should let him go or ride it out because you’ve invested all your time into what turned out to be nothing. Better get smart and cut ties while you still have some life to live.

Cut Him Off Before It’s Too Late…