Forcing Connections..? Don’t

Thinking he’s the one won’t make him the one…”

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Ladies ladies ladies… I know that sometimes we are so desperate to meet “the one” that we mind fuck ourselves into thinking any guy that comes into our lives with a few nice gestures is the one. First off ladies, most men are doing one of the two:

  1. Being gentleman enough to the point he gets you to say yes to giving him your number so he can take you out
  2. Being gentleman enough to get you out in order to eventually get you into bed.

The first motive is usually a good one. He wants to take you out, meaning he wants to get to know you more. It doesn’t have to be right away of course but eventually that is the goal. He’ll spend time getting to know you, hopefully via voice calls and not text. I find that you get to really know a person by talking on the phone. Text tends to get misread and assumptions are made. Now once he feels like you’re comfortable enough the two of you may finally plan that date night. Onto the second motive: he’s only being gentleman like because he wants to have sex with you. It’s the sad truth. Guys will only be nice enough to get you in bed and then they let their true colors fly. Now this can happen in a short amount of time or he’s the guy that doesn’t mind the long ride. Once you do give it up you’re stuck wondering why he’s no longer the guy you first met.

Here I go again going onto a whole new subject. Just like a woman to get sidetracked with the million other thoughts going on in my head. So back to it; thinking he’s the one isn’t going to make him the one. To be honest it’s really not up to us to decide if he’s the one. Sure there are signs that can let us know if he may or may not be the one but as women we have to remember that if he doesn’t feel the same way about you it’s not on you to say, “but you’re the one for me.” Sorry sweetie but it doesn’t work that way, it takes two.

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Sex Based Relationships…

“A relationship built solely on sex is hardly a relationship at all…”

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I’m not an expert when it comes to getting and keeping a relationship, as my ass has been single for what seems like forever, but I have had a share of my own relationships, some of which were based solely on sex. Can I even call this a relationship at all? Do these kind of relationships last once you remove the sex? I’m stuck between yes and no but I’m definitely leaning towards, “FUCK NO that shit doesn’t work out.”

I can remember getting into two different relationships (different times of course) and thinking back I can’t think of anything I had in common with either of these guys besides the fact that we enjoyed fucking each other, oh and they made me laugh. Gotta be able to make me laugh or we won’t be getting anywhere what so ever and YES, I said fucking. You can’t make love when you haven’t learned enough about each other outside of the bedroom to actually fall in love. Seriously,  these relationships were, “hey how are you, lets eat (some days), okay now let’s get it on wherever we can” kind of thing going on. I was still pretty young at the time so during those time periods it didn’t hit me that I was in a sexship, as my friend called it. I figured because we had made it clear we were together and that we couldn’t stay away from each other that we were in a real relationship. It took me getting into a serious ass, “we living” together relationship to realize it’s so much more to being with someone.

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Is There Really A Difference? Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised.

For centuries men have been getting circumcised, though becoming less common in the last 20 years. For women with children, it has been an automatic that male newborns would get circumcised before leaving the hospital or within their first few months of life. The sooner it’s done the less you worry about the pain and your child being traumatized by the experience if you decide to do it when they are older. Though for me the experience was more traumatizing for me than him. Watching your child be strapped down so they can’t move was probably the hardest part to watch. The whole time he remained calmed and not one tear came from his eyes unlike the crying party I was having with myself. Anyways as a mom of a young boy there was no doubt in my mind when it came to whether or not I would get him circumcised. It was what was normal to me, his father didn’t disagree (although he wasn’t there to go through the procedure with me. S/O to my mom and her friends for the support) and I knew it would be helpful when he became involved with women because let’s face it when judge more than a little bit when it come to that subject. Unlike me a lot of parents are opting out of having their baby boys circumcised and letting them decide once they become adults.

Why/Why Not Circumcise?

Before the penis is circumcised there is foreskin covering the head making him uncircumcised. So why would someone have it removed?

  1. The number 1 reason is health: men who are intact have a higher risk of penile skin inflammation and penile cancer is more common. Like women the uncircumcised man is also at risk of getting a UTI, intact foreskin can put men at higher risk of becoming infected with sexually transmitted infections and the chance of developing prostate cancer are 50-100% greater.
  2. The sex debate also comes into play when making a decision. It’s been debated that removing the foreskin can decrease sensitivity during intercourse but there’s no way for a man to tell if he’s been circumcised at birth. It’s also been debated whether it is less or more pleasurable for their partner. It has been said that women who have partners that are circumcised experience more sexually pain compared to a man who has not been cut because the extra skin causes a smoother ride and can be helpful to women that don’t produce a lot of lubricate.

NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE JUICY STUFF 🙂

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Every Man’s Dream: A Threesome…

I don’t know how many times I’ve listened to men talk about wanting to have a threesome. I’m pretty sure it’s every man’s dream. Him,between two women getting nasty nasty things done to him and watching them getting down and dirty with one another. Sounds great and all but do threesome really turn out like the ones we see on movies or watching those XXX videos online.

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When I think of threesome it plays out pretty hilarious in my mind because who do you decide to give your attention to. What if during the threesome you find yourself more attracted to the other person and push the other person to the side like,” excuse me your participation is no longer needed. You are now dismissed”? BUT then I think of those in a relationship and want to bring some excitement to the bedroom. A situation like that could either be good or bad. It may save your relationship or it can completely ruin it. You and/or your partner may decide you want to see what else is out there, but  I guess that depends on how connected the two of you are.

Personally I have never participated in such activities but I have been asked. It made me wonder how do you even go about having a threesome. Shouldn’t there be some kind of understanding or rules to follow before going all the way out. So I decided to see what’s the best way to go about a threesome and I’ll decide if I agree or disagree.

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TWENTY88 – “Out of Love” Short Film

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Today I finally took some time to watch Big Sean & Jhene’s short film, “Out of Love,” for their joint album TWENTY88. The Short film was original released on Tidal, which I’m not apart of but as of last week it became viewable to everyone for free on Vevo Before watching the short film I was only a fan of a few songs. Let’s say the visual with the songs now has me ready to add the rest to my playlist. The video is fun, sexy, sad; just an emotional rollercoaster of love/hate. Oh and that sex scene for “2 Minute Warning,” had me melting in my seat. Jhene has definitely shown us a side we’ve never seen.

Does Courting Still Exist in a World of Netflix & Chill…?

Dating is a part of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.

Living in a generation where a date seems to be nothing more than a night in watching movies & what seems like a guaranteed hookup, it’s hard to believe there are still good men out there who will take the time to get to know who you are. The days of courting have stopped and we are now stuck in a world of “Netflix & Chill” and meme’s on Instagram that represent ones “relationship goals.” 

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But tell me how can one achieve “relationship goals” when we aren’t taking steps to get to know an individual,and when I speak of getting to know a person I am not speaking of their body. We have lost sight of why we begin dating in the first place, to find that one person we will eventually marry and build a life with. Instead “dating” is now the new hook up. The goal isn’t marriage but sex. There’s no long talks on the phone, learning about each other’s hopes, dreams, fears and likes. Instead calls are midnight text requesting you to “come through” for a late night booty call. In most cases the female expects for sex to turn into a relationship but the guy is just killing time with her and two others just like her. A lot of times people will take the sex over getting to know one another for the simple fact they fear being alone and/or fear being hurt. If a date always consist of you meeting someone at their house I think it’s safe to say it’s no longer a date and you two are simply cuddy buddies.

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You Know What I Can’t Stand…

How men & even women are always worried about who a person is fucking (excuse my language)….

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Now i get it if it’s a person you are dealing with and you guys are supposed to be exclusive but he/she is out fucking on everybody not giving a care in the world then coming home to you like they weren’t just out getting their dick/pussy wet all day, THAT’S A PROBLEM.

But if you are single go have fun, experiment all you want but be safe about it. People are too comfortable with fucking without condoms these days you never know what someone has. Remember birth control only helps stop pregnancy and that’s not even 100%. Yall seem to forget you can die just because you wanted to get a quick nut off. Shit I constantly thank the Lord from protecting me from anything my son’s dad had or has because that nigga acts like condoms are the devil and he just goes around putting his dick in any and everyone. It’s like if you’re gonna go out and cheat/ fuck on multiple people back to back how about you wrap up that dirty ass dick. Have a little bit of respect while you out disrespecting the person you so call love.

DAMN!