My 2019 Year In Review

Here we are again, starting a new year. 2020 came extremely fast this year, not leaving me with much time to reflect. So for my first blog post of 2020, I figured I’d do some reflecting on my 2019 by answering a few questions.

1. How Would I Describe My 2019 In 3 – 5 Words?

A roller-coaster of emotions.

2. How Did I Have Fun?

Though I had many moments where I felt like I was going to have mental breakdowns from working and being a mother/auntie; my 2019 was so much fun. I went to a number of concerts, traveled a lot more and spent almost every month of 2019 with my family celebrating life and each other. I got to see B2K reunited at The Millennium Tour in LA, although the best part of the concert was the opening acts. I was finally able to see Jhene at the Lights On Festival. I had a super fun 29th  birthday party at my great aunts house and then spent the rest of my birthday in Arizona with my best friend Asia (one of the only females that’s remained by my side since we’ve met). We got to take my son & niece to Vegas for the first time and they got to see JoJo Siwa. I turned up in Atlanta with my sister and cousins. Went to Puerto Vallarta & got to swim with Dolphins, which was the the greatest and scariest thing I’ve ever done, especially since I can’t swim (lessons coming in 2020 for me and my son.) Gosh and I can’t even caught the amount of gatherings we’ve had with my close family members. We always have a wonderful time together. Even volunteering at my son’s school and going on our first field trip was fun. I also went to a few lounges.

3. What Did I Learn About Myself?

Throughout 2019 I learned a lot about myself, one of those things was I’m kind of a pushover and I put a lot of people’s needs before mine. I was risking my happiness in order to please those around me and to avoid hurting other’s. I talked to a therapist for this first time and every conversation we had, I noticed I was making excuses for why I couldn’t do things for myself and it always lead to me realizing it was because I didn’t want to let anyone else down or feel like a burden to them. Another thing I learned was that I had become very detached when it came to forming new relationships with people based off some of my failed relationships/friendships towards the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019.           

4. What Is This Most Important Lesson I Learned?         

Be patient as a mother and to not take out my frustrations on my child. My son started Kindergarten and as excited as I was, I was not prepared from the massive amounts of homework he would be receiving. After all, how much homework can a 5-year-old handle? Apparently a lot and it wasn’t only him learning but me as well. It’s easy to become frustrated when trying to teach your child, especially things they already know. I found myself yelling a lot more and I finally had to take a step back and realize he was probably just as frustrated as me. I had to take into consideration that he was spending long hours  at school while I was working and was tired by the end of the day. I had to find new positive ways to keep him focused and wanting to learn, which took me being patient and understanding. Overall I’m still learning how to be an amazing mother and what does and does not work with my son in all aspects of life.

5. What I Was Disappointed About In 2019?

As a writer, new author and small business owner I am always disappointed when it comes to my books and clothing barely being noticed. Sometimes it seems like no matter how much I promote my work, it’s just not being noticed. I know I told myself I would do more events and pop up shops to get my work out there after having my book signing but I didn’t reach the goals I wanted due to me feeling like I didn’t have the time and also being afraid of the possible outcomes. Another thing is I felt like I was becoming discouraged the more time went by, especially when I seen other’s that used me for inspiration and/or my whole marketing scheme, which was doing much better or getting more recognition mine. It’s disappointing knowing you have to rework you’re whole marketing scheme because you don’t want to look like you are copying another person’s framework when really they just took mine and had more time on their hands to put their all into it. BUT I know nothing happens overnight and I’ve only been at this for about a year. There’s still a lot I can learn and a lot more people I can reach.

6. What Is One Accomplishment I Am Proud Of?

2019 I got to edit my first urban fiction book that was not mine. It’s a different feeling when you are helping another person live out their dreams of becoming a published author. I look forward to being able to edit more books. It may seem small but it was a major accomplishment for me and I was honored someone put their trust into me when it came to their passion project.                                                                                       

 

 

Affirmations For Kids

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

As a mother with a 5-year-old son, one of my main goals is to make sure he always feels good about himself and has faith in what he is doing. This is something I’d like to instill in him so he remembers his worth and the power he carries within him, as he grows into a man. With a few affirmations a day, in the morning, before doing homework or at bedtime, parents can change their child’s mindset in a positive way.

Before I get into sharing a few affirmations with you, I want to explain how I got into doing this practice with my son.

If you follow my blog, you know that my son started kindergarten back in August. For a kinder classroom, his school has a pretty advanced curriculum, which as a 5-year-old I didn’t have to learn. Currently, they are teaching the kids how to read, tell time, etc and to my satisfaction my son is at grade level, but a little over a month ago that wasn’t the case. His teacher had sent a red note in his yellow folder explaining he was below grade level. Based on the color of the note my son knew something was wrong and I wanted to be open and honest with him. I wen’t on to explain that he needed to practice his blends and vowels and asked him what it was in class he couldn’t really remember.

After our conversation, I’m not sure if he could sense my concerns but he began to cry harder than I’ve ever seen him cry. His feelings were hurt and watching the tears roll down his little face broke my heart. I felt like I failed and I could see that he was already losing his confidence. That’s when I decided it was time to figure out how to lift his spirits, get him excited about learning and instill the confidence he had before we talked about him being a little behind. I knew affirmations were just the thing for him.

If you’re dealing with a younger kid like mine, you’ll want to keep the affirmations short and simple. I like to have my son look in the mirror or we look at each other; face-to-face and start by saying, “I AM.” One of his favorites to say is, “I Am Smart.”

Here are a list of affirmations that will help your child(ren) believe in themselves and develop a habit of having positive thoughts:

  • I am intelligent
  • I am brave
  • I am protected
  • I can do anything
  • I am creative
  • I am a good student
  • I am a good friend
  • I am worthy
  • I am kind
  • I love myself
  • I am loved

Once you begin saying affirmations with you child(ren) daily you will start to notice a change in their personalities and they will even begin to recite them on their own, as well as start encouraging others around them.

Stop Holding Yourself Back

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It’s crazy that as children we seem to have our whole lives planned out in extraordinary detail:

  • The exact car we’ll drive
  • The college we’ll graduate from
  • When, where and how we meet the man we’ll marry
  • Our dream career that will be handed to us on a platter
  • The gated community we’ll live in
  • The dog
  • The number of children we’ll have and their gender

We have this great life planned and it’s all supposed to happen by the age of 25. BUT what happens when 25 hits and you have only accomplished one or two things on that list and the rest hasn’t fallen into place and you don’t see it happening anytime soon, what do you do?

I’ll tell you what not to do… Don’t get down on yourself and feel like you’ve failed because as long as you’re alive there’s time to do everything you’ve every wanted to. Why let the dreams you had as a child die because you’ve reached a certain age? There’s no reason to. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed time after time and no matter how many times they took a loss they didn’t give up until they won and then won again.

If I based my success off my current age I wouldn’t be considered successful to most people:

Stop Holding Yourself Back

The Diary of She: Destination Unknown

Today I went for a walk, my usual 35-40 minute walk towards the end of the work day. Sitting at a desk all day gets a bit tiring so why not get up and get active. While on my walk I found myself staring off in the distance with a million thoughts going through my head. It’s normal for me to drift off and think about life, sometimes I even pull out my phone to write down a quick poem or a few quotes. Today I just let the thoughts eat at me. Thoughts of who I am today and who I’ll become in the future. Wondering if I’m sleeping on the present me. Have a truly found myself 100%? I can confidently say, “Not even”. Every other day I’m learning more about me. I’ve become a more positive person once I stopped allowing myself to mix with those who radiated their negative energy onto me. For a moment I thought all life had to offer me was disappointment and drama until I manifested peace upon me. I decided to stay away from those who made me feel less than and focus on the things that made me happy. BUT today during that walk I felt like I was having a midlife crisis and I’ve yet to hit my 30s. I asked myself what is it I truly want? Do I want to stop chasing after my dreams that I was once so passionate about? I was feeling like I knew my mission (write) but I didn’t know my where the destination was or how I was getting there. Did I go left, make a right or keep strutting forward until I reached the unknown destination. What happened if I came to a dead-end? I knew I’d have to turn around but then where would I go? would I have to start from the beginning; start all over again? The hard part for me isn’t figuring out what career I want and will be genuinely happy with. The hard part is figuring out how I’m going to get my writing out there, how I’m going to bring in my audience and how will I meet people to network with. It’s possible I’m terrified of rejection; scared that I won’t have any supporters or that my work won’t be good enough. Sometimes I think I need some reassurance and a shove forward instead of feeling like I’m completely alone on my journey to the world of published writers…